All We Need Is LoveJan 14, 2021
I think our world needs more love, needs to understand love better. I just wanted to share some points that maybe could be helpful for some folks. So let’s just talk about what love is, and maybe isn’t. You know, I think our culture and movies and shows and especially, romantic comedies all portray love as this emotion, this feeling, you know, when you meet the right person, your heart just flutters in and you touch them and it’s love at first sight or love at first touch and that emotional feeling gets labeled as love. But the truth is love is a commitment, not an emotion. Love is a character trait and attitude that we have. It’s really important to start changing our perspective of what love is, and the impact that love can have. Obviously, I named my company Add Value 2 Life and my goal in, my life and in my business, is to add value to people, to increase. And for me, that can be as simple as a smile. And it can be as simple as a hug or an encouraging word. And sometimes that’s all people need, is to just build each other up.
I think the idea of helping others, obviously, requires a level of commitment and desire. I think helping others is what human beings were created for. It is what work is, work is helping others and being compensated for it.
In our family we love each other and we’re committed to each other. But that’s not always the case. And for some families the emotional energy is negative and they turn into roommates and there is a tolerance of each other, certainly nothing that can be compared to love.
Making a commitment to love others and making a commitment to do more for people, to be givers in this world instead of takers. That’s the commitment of what love is. As a business coach and a mindset coach, I talk a lot about character and character development. Love is the ultimate level of character, when you love somebody, when you make a commitment to love, loving others, loving significant others, loving your family. That commitment, that compromise, is a character issue. It determines how you talk to them, how you feel about them and of course how you act towards them.
It’s interesting to look at the definition of character. Because there’s two ways to think of character. First of all, is the mental and moral qualities that are distinctive to a person. My character represents who I am and what I’m doing in the world. But there’s another side of character. We think of character as a role in a movie or a story, or a play. And what’s interesting is, as a coach that I’ve come to see that you can act out the character that you desire to have, and you’ll start to grow in that character. You’ll start to become that persona. We talk about the best actors that can personify this character that they’re playing. And some characters get taken to that point, right? Of course, the actor is only in a movie or a story for a short period of time. But they begin to personify that character. Well, the truth is, that’s how love can work. When you change your character, you make a commitment to that new attitude, you make a commitment to love others. That becomes your character. The action has to lead the emotion.
So many people now are waiting for their feelings to change. We have this emotional feeling that we want to change. And we hope that this emotion will just come to us and we’ll just feel love. When the truth is we have to act it out. First, we have to live it out. And that’s really where the character and the attitude starts. It’s a decision. I made a decision to love my wife. And I’ve lived that decision out through my character over and over again every day. My commitment to my wife is stronger because I’ve been doing it now for almost 30 years. For many folks what happens is, they get the emotion confused. Is my emotional commitment to my wife as strong everyday? Gosh, of course not. I screw up all the time and I upset her and I hurt her feelings, yet my commitment to her grows stronger and stronger every day, even on the days when we have emotional lows and emotional highs. That’s the difference.
We’re convinced through movies or television, that everything can be on this emotional high. Love is this emotional thing that just feeds us and makes us feel good all the time. Life isn’t that way. When we make a commitment to love others, to put ourselves out there, it is really a commitment to be givers to the world rather than takers, waiting for the world to feed us.
The crazy thing is when you start feeding others, you start giving your love. It doesn’t have to be big commitments. It can be small commitments, right? It can be, you know, I want to brighten somebody’s day today, I want to say an encouraging word. I want to help somebody in a positive way. I think love is impactful in your business, the relationships that you have in business and in sales. Love as a commitment to giving more than you’re taking in your business transaction can be so powerful.
Living out that character, committing to an attitude of love, can be the piece that many people are missing in their relationships. Their marriage, they’re expecting the other to provide for them, to fill them up. Rather than making the commitment that no matter what my partner does, I’m going to fill them up, I’m going to be the one adding value. I hope that more and more people will take on an attitude of love and be encouraging to others and be giving to others. And like an actor, acting it out, making the choice to say, this is the person I want to be, this is the character I want to have. And start acting out and living it out each day in your life setting a goal to improve your relationships, setting a goal to to add value to the people that you don’t know.
One of our challenges is, it can be so hard to love the people close to us and those that we interact with every day. It can be a real struggle to love those that are different from us. I think now, more than ever, we need to be willing to love others in spite of differences, and love others because of their differences, embracing their differences.
But learning to love others, learning to have a commitment to putting others first, and an attitude is a character trait that each of us can learn. It can be learned and it can be lived out. It can be as simple as committing to I want every transaction, every interaction with other people, so that they come away feeling better about themselves. That’s a simple thing that can happen with just a smile, it can happen with a gleam in the eye, can happen with a positive encouraging word.
If everybody took on a little bit more love and just chose to be a little nicer. Each day, we could impact and change the world in great ways. I encourage you to make that commitment. If you do, comment below and tell us the results. Like, I smiled at three different people on my walk today. It’s harder and harder, right, we’re wearing masks we’re hiding from people. This is a time when we need to love others, we need to encourage others, we need to lift others up, we need to be that person, that’s just putting them just one step up, helping people not be dragging on the sidewalk looking down. Just a positive and encouraging word can do that. You want to do that in your business relationships, you want to do that for your family. And you want to live out that character. But it starts with action, rather than emotion. Action first, and then the emotions will follow. If you feel like I don’t love anybody.
We all can lift each other up, we all have the ability to build each other up. And we all have the ability to add value to people and to be givers instead of takers. That’s what love is about. That’s where love starts, I want to be a giver. I want to give and contribute to the world and build the world up rather than be a taker and be taken away from the world.