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How I let my masculine energy slip away

Aug 27, 2022

So I've been working on improving my sales model and working with sales coach and working with, you know, my personal development.

I, this weekend, just really ran into the reality that I've let my masculine energy slip away and, so it's kind of been an interesting revelation.

It's just a combination of just events in my life and, I guess my life circumstances

Been married for for 30 years. And so I no longer need to woo, or wow my wife. And it's a little crazy that our relationship is at a point where we just enjoy being together, we enjoy having sex together, and I haven't had to prove anything to her, and win or woo her. And of course, over the last three years, she's been working at home and working together. And we've actually, you know, spend 99% of our time together, maybe only 95%. But but still way too much. And so I think that's been a big piece.

My son moved out a year ago. And so I haven't had his masculine influence in my life and hanging out and talking about the manly things that he and I talk about cars and guns and those things. I, you know, because of COVID some of the male influences and people I was hanging out with are no longer, hang out options men's group at church, my mentor, and friend who was leading the youth ministry and, so I haven't had some of those strong, masculine influences.

And so I think it's interesting. And of course, we've owned our house now for about 13 years. And I kind of decided I no longer want to do home repair projects. But home repair projects are one of those things that my masculine energy leans into. And so I realize all of these activities that I've done, and I'm a manly man in Colorado, where you know, camping, hunting, I was a Marine.

My dad and I have built our, our Broncos from the ground up. And so a lot of mechanical involvement and scuba diving, international travel, enjoy racing. But over the last couple years, some of those things, I've kind of let go. And I've got a Bronco in the garage that I took out four wheeling in September of 2020. And haven't really gone to fix some of the stuff that happened with it over that four wheeling trip and I even though I'm still doing car repairs and things with my dad, one day a week, we've mostly just been fixing the things that had to be fixed in the cars that we want to keep on the road.

And so this whole idea of your masculine energy and the importance of tapping into that masculine energy, especially in a sales conversation, in a coaching conversation, being able to hold somebody accountable, being able to lean in a little deeper, right? I feel like I'm not leaning into their pain enough, I'm not squeezing them enough to really help them see what the negative outcomes of their situation would be.

In ministry, it was leaning into, well, if you continue with this behavior, what is going to be the consequence and same thing in business if you continue in this path, are you going to get the results that you want, or is it going to continue taking you down a path that you don't want. So being able to squeeze somebody's pain a little bit more, I've kind of let that slip away. I don't want to say that I've gotten soft because soft isn't and maybe it is soft, right? The feminine energy is taken over I'm far more compassionate, I'm far more wanting to help people see the positive and not get stuck in the negatives. And so I get so focused on, oh, it's going to be okay, hey there's there's a positive side to look at in this story. Versus having a willingness to challenge and lean into the pain a little bit.

And so that's been a real eye opener for me over this last week or so.

Really recognizing that my masculine side has softened. And so now I need to get that back, I need to lean into some some physical fitness activities and some more body movement. I need to find a group of men to hang out with that are going to lift me up and elevate me back in into the place where we're experiencing that testosterone. Not in a negative aggressive way, but just enough to really amp that masculine energy back up.

And not that the feminine energy is bad, it's just the feminine energy has its place and consoling people and in comforting people, and in that side of my life is certainly going to stay strong and helping people focus on the positive. But at the same time, be able to call people out on their credit and being able to help people take responsibility for their lives. I really need my masculine energy to be able to lean into that and step into that place.

I'm making some intentional choices right now.

And I'm sharing them publicly with you that even though I've avoided physical fitness, I think I'm going to join up a Men's Fitness group to hang out with some some guys to do some exercise and activity in my life that I've avoided, and to really be intentional about getting my masculine energy back. And so you guys have the option to hold me a little bit accountable. And so I'm putting that out there.

I also want to hear your comments.

I want to hear your thoughts on the feminine, masculine energy, where have you let your energies shift, and where have you let one or the other take over? Because of who you're hanging out with, or because of the activities that you're doing or because of your life slipping into into the comfort zone.

I think obviously, my marriage in some ways is slipped into the comfort zone. Part of that's our economics, in our current situation, we haven't traveled as much as we'd like to, and we haven't done some of the adventurous activities that we normally do. And I'd normally be making a lot of the decisions around our activity schedule. I think we need to lean into that we need to plan a few more activities and do a few more things that require me to lean into that masculine energy role of, of leadership and maybe we need to go out and do some more hiking and do some more shooting and do some more four wheeling and doing the things that my wife and I love to do. That helps me lean into that masculine energy. And maybe I need to be trying to woo and wow her more often than I am.

I just wanted to share that. I'd love to hear your comments. I'd love to hear your thoughts on your masculine and feminine energy and where where have you let your energy slip? And where do you need to step back into your greatness, either on your feminine energy side or your masculine energy side?

Let's have a great conversation. I'd love to see where this goes. Thanks for checking out the video.