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Writing the Next Chapter: Starting Fresh After Kids Move Out

Dec 12, 2022

For many mothers, their children moving out marks a significant change in their lives. It can be a time of both excitement and uncertainty as they enter a new stage of motherhood. However, with some planning and preparation, this transition can be a smooth one.

This holiday season is a great opportunity to create some new traditions for yourself and other family members. Make the most of the time you have with those you have.

Each person is put on this planet for a different purpose. Do you know yours?

Your purpose is more than just being a mother. 

Being a mother is a grand purpose. However it is not the primary role or reason a woman is on this earth.

Mom, you are made for a time as this.

For these holidays without your child or children, I encourage you to evaluate your season and what can you do to make a new tradition. Create a time that is special and unique to enjoy going forward. Create a meal that is special and unique to celebrate your new chapter and can follow up next year again. Create an activity that is new and special.

Some examples I have done or thought of over the years:

  • Our family made donuts on Christmas morning while we waited for grandparents to be online in a different time zone
  • Set aside a time to watch a Christmas movie with a special treat to snack on together
  • Watch your favorite Christmas movie with some Egg Nog (or Shine Nog if you desire)

If you haven't already, evaluate a few things and prepare for an amazing 2023. Here are a few tips to prepare.

1. Evaluate your core values.

What are the 3-5 things you hold dear, such as family, integrity, adventure, curiosity, gratitude, learning, security, truth?

Take those single words and describe what they mean to you. Such as family, what part of family, what does that look like for you. For me family means being available and a part of my grandkids lives.

2. What is your why?

Why do you do what you do? What is your driving force?

Do you work your day job or did you start your business so that you could work 60 hours each week? Do you work to make an income so that your husband can thrive in his desired field? What is it that gets you motivated to do what you love doing?

3. What is holding you back?

We learn many things as we are growing up. Many times things stick in our subconscious that are not helpful to our growth. This takes some time to grow and acknowledge what limiting statements we tell ourselves. As we grow and can acknowledge what phrases scroll through our subconscious and we can then reprogram them. I call these malware. Just like a computer can have things programmed in by unintentional or fraudulent ways, our brains can absorb things we see and hear that are not intended to harm us.

Take some time to think and listen to yourself. What do you say or think that is blocking you from your dreams?

Make some sticky notes and put them around your home. Remind yourself that you are amazing and beautiful.

You can reprogram yourself, but it takes intentionality.

4. Who do you spend time with?

We are rejuvenated by encouraging and strengthening conversations. On the contrary we are hindered and squashed by relationships that are not healthy nor growing. Sometimes we don't realize that we need to adjust or that we can even adjust who we hang around with.

Have you ever stopped and looked at who you spend your time with? Sure these may be great friends, or family, but are they adding value to your life? Jim Rohn said, “You become like the five people you spend the most time with. Choose carefully.”

Human beings hold an imaginary mirror up and reflect back to each other what is seen. Humans see the best and worst in each other. 

Every once in a while it is valuable to evaluate who you spend your time with. This isn't saying spending time with family or old friends is wrong. But look at who is influencing your time. Who is helping you grow? Who are the five people that you spend the most time with?

Are the people you spend the most time with inspiring you to be the best you that you can be or are they ok with status quo or are they maybe holding or pushing you back?