Brian Sexton

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Show Notes

Robert Peterson 1:05
If you dream of changing the world, but you're not sure where to start. The Add value entrepreneurs podcast will help you transform your life in business. This podcast is for entrepreneurs who want more freedom and fulfillment from their work so they can live the life that they desire. You deserve it, and it is possible. My name is Robert Peterson, Farmer passer turned CEO and the smiling coach. I believe that success without happiness is failing. But there is hope. Join us each week as we bring you an inspiring leader or message to help you. Thanks for investing time with us today. Alright, let's get started.

Noelle Peterson 1:43
Today we're talking to a sales expert who credit credits his father with all of his sales prowess. But more importantly, he has focused his life on encouragement. He hosts the intentional encourager podcast, and his journey of encouragement that started from his father to him now extends from him, to his wife and to his son.

Robert Peterson 2:02
Brian Sexton is a seasoned veteran sales, sales management, territory building and customer engagement specialist of 27 years across four different industries,

Noelle Peterson 2:12
Robert, and Noelle have an in depth conversation with the intentional encourager, Brian Sexton, about people, the value of relationships, and the power of intentional encouragement.

Robert Peterson 2:23
The idea of stimulating belief in others about themselves is a powerful way to impact the world. If you don't hear anything else, from this episode, hear this, tell those around you what you appreciate about them every day, they deserve to know, if you're an entrepreneur who started their business with a purpose and a passion that has been lost in the busyness of the daily grind, we get it. That is why we've opened up our free strategy calls a lot of entrepreneurs, probably including you just want a sense of clarity on the barriers holding them back, that you need to overcome in order to accelerate your growth and achieve your dreams. These short 30 Minute Calls give you a chance to work with one of our coaches without any commitment or pressure. Scheduling is easy, just go to smiling cole.com. Let's jump on a call and get you the help and clarity you need. Select a time and let's build your business. It's time for you to add value. Well, Brian, we're just looking forward to this conversation. Not not a lot of people are our company name is add value to life. And that's because we want to be intentionally encouraging. And so it's based on the Bible verse, you know, encourage one another and build each other up. And so adding value is a way of building up other people. And so when I, when I ran across your profile on LinkedIn, I said, Well, Brian, and I need to have a conversation and and so that's why Noelle and I have invited you to be on the show because we want to talk about encouraging, but also because we deal with entrepreneurs. We want to talk about sales and how the encourager can be helpful in sales. So I'd love for you to share your story and where the intentional encourager has come from and how that's helped you in your sales journey.

Brian Sexton 4:13
Well, first of all, what a huge honor it is to be here with you both. And for me, I will say this is that, for me, I grew up in a sales family. Okay, that's how my story really got started. I had my dad was in sales. I had uncles that were in sales. So growing up in a sales family, I was around it all the time. I had uncles that were entrepreneurs in the window and door business. And so just growing up around people who knew how to connect with other people was huge. Now where I got into sales was Robert, like most good firstborn sons. I decided that I didn't want to do what dad did. Okay. So I decided that I wanted to be a sports writer. I initially started out wanting to be a play by play guy. I'm a big sports fan. I decided I wanted to be a play by play guy. And I was working at a grocery store. My dad had helped me get a job at the local newspaper working in the sports department. With a guy he went to high school with who was the assistant sports editor.

Robert Peterson 5:32
Nice.

Brian Sexton 5:32
And there was a guy that came in the grocery store that I worked with that had a local sports talk show. And I befriended him. And he said, Brian, I'm gonna give you a piece of advice, go into print journalism, they make more money. And the ironic thing is, since college, I have done absolutely zero print journalism and done more broadcasting, than I've done anything outside of that. But Robert, that's what I did for the first two years that I was at Marshall University, one of the top journalism schools in the country. It came to time for me, I was working two jobs, I had a job at the newspaper job at a grocery store, and I was making money, I was dating a girl, man, life was good. It came time for me to have to write for the school newspaper for a semester, that was a requirement. And I said, Why do I want to give up two paying jobs for one unpaid job. So at that point, I switched majors and went into marketing with a sales trajectory. So I tried. That's kind of been the story of my life, the last 10 years, as much as I've tried to run from my dad and his legacy, I can't do it. And so that it started 27 years ago, well, 30 years ago, now I switched majors, ended up getting a marketing degree. So that's how I got into sales. The encouragement part, about three and a half years ago, almost four years ago. Now, as you mentioned, LinkedIn, I spent a lot of time on LinkedIn. I looked around and saw a lot of expertise, but very little encouragement. And I thought I can do something about that. And so what I've really come to understand, and what I want to share with your audience today, what encouragement is not. And we're gonna talk about that today. I just tweeted that, right before I came on with you guys. So we'll talk about what encouragement is, but we'll talk about what encouragement is not. So that's a little snippet of my story. And I lost my dad about 10 years ago. In fact, in December, it will be 10 years since his his passing, he passed away. Suddenly, on December 6 2012. And my book people buy from people details that story and details 10 Connecting principles that my dad left me and taught me.

Robert Peterson 7:56
Nice well so so sorry for your loss. I know. Well, Noelle lost both of her parents, and we recently had my mom's Memorial. So. So definitely

Brian Sexton 8:08
My condolences to you as well, I understand that. Yeah, I actually preached my dad's funeral. So I understand that. His memorial service I was the last one to speak.

Robert Peterson 8:18
So I did for my mom. In fact, I did that for both

Noelle Peterson 8:23
all three of them,

Robert Peterson 8:24
both of her parents as well. So so definitely understand that. So so let's talk about the obviously Dad's got you into sales now you're headed in

Brian Sexton 8:38
Yep.

Robert Peterson 8:38
Finished marketing and down this this sales career. So so let's talk about those some of those principles in helping you in sales.

Brian Sexton 8:49
Well, the first thing that I didn't realize that my dad taught me to do, that served me all those years in sales was, I didn't realize my dad told me ... my dad told me in 1995 right before I got my first sales job. He said, Son, never forget people buy from people. And I thought, Well, okay, that sales thing, right? And so when i went to write people buy from people as a tribute to my dad, I thought I'm gonna write a sales book from all of my years of experience. But Robert, here's what I didn't understand. My dad wasn't teaching me about sales. He was teaching me about connection. He was teaching me about life. And I said in the book, people buy connection before they ever make a transaction. You and I don't buy anything unless we feel some kind of connection to it. Either. I need it or I want it. Or so I'll give you an example. This is a little bit earlier today. I do a lot of traveling. I was looking for a travel blanket. Okay, one I could pack in a little pouch and just throw in a backpack or throw in my suitcase. So I went to the marshals here in Barboursville they have what I wanted. I was like, okay, they got what I wanted. Price was not horribly expensive. And I said, Okay, so I connected with the product and the price. Then I said, Okay, what color do I want? Okay, great, you know, hides dirt pretty well, because I'm going to beat this thing up. So I connected the product price and color. The next thing I did, I put it in my hot little hands and headed for the register. It's simple. But if they had wanted $20 instead of $10.99, I, that would have been a disconnect for me. And I was like, well, that's, I'm not connected that way as well either. But nothing happens until till people get connected to what you have. And that's what I didn't realize my dad was teaching me was connect to the person first, then sell them. Because if you can't connect, you can't sell. Because everybody in life wants to connect to something or someone that will help them get to where they want to be. Why do you think motivational speakers do so well? They connect with people. Why do you think it gives you an example you're you kind of look like Dave Ramsey's doppelganger. Why do you think Dave Ramsey has been ultra successful the last 20 plus years. He talks about the one thing that connects to everybody is debt. And he connects them to a better future without it. Dave Ramsey is not selling debt solutions. He's connecting people to a better life that they can have with his program. And Dave will tell you, he said I'm a terrific I'm a world class marketer. But Dave figured out, I've got this. And if I can connect it with enough people, and I can hit those connecting points they'll buy for me. It's exactly what he's done. So just remember, Robert, if you don't get if your audience doesn't get anything out of this, remember this one point people buy connection before they ever make a transaction?

Robert Peterson 12:20
Yep, that's so good. So there's another level of connection that you kind of touched on that your dad helped you get that first job. And then you had a high school buddy that, you know, so let's talk about connection at that level, right connection in your personal growth and connection in, making connections, right, and networking. And?

Brian Sexton 12:44
Well, here's the thing that people don't understand. Let me let me go a little bit deeper on connection. So we have really lost the meaning of connection in today's world. So we have a lot of people that believe if I just hit a button, and I reach out to somebody, we're connected. If I do something if I you know if in Robert, I'm Noel, I'm sure you guys get it too. Somebody will reach out to you and then they'll follow up with, hey, I can help you promote your podcast or hey, I can help you do this, or hey, I can help you do that. No, no, I always tell people, I always write back and I would say, Hey, I'm just curious what prompted you to reach out to me? What prompted you to want to connect with me? I want to get to know people deeper. So what prompted you to connect? I know the answer already. You saw I had a podcast, you sell podcast services. You thought I'll just connect with this guy and see if you buy from me. Doesn't work that way. And so what I do is I say as I wrote my book people buy from people, people buy connection before they ever make a transaction. I follow those same rules. If you're going to do business with me, at some point, I have to feel like you have a connection with me. And you truly care about me. And my podcasts come back to me when you've established a connection. And that that that is that's like crickets, it's like, you know that it's like, they suddenly forget how to use a LinkedIn or something like that. But Robert, I'm telling you, nothing beats connection. I was having a discussion with a guy on Twitter earlier today. And he said this, he said you when when you follow the process, I have to I'll pull up the tweet real quick. Because I thought it was I thought was fascinating. You know what he says was, he said this, he said, you win when you fall in love with the process. I have never won a sales deal. And this is what I told him. I never in 27 years had somebody say to me, Brian, you know I bought from you because you got an incredible process. connection beats process every time. Every time, Robert It beats it every time. Because if something is not connected in that that part of of that that transaction, if something's not connected, it doesn't happen. I've never had somebody say, Well, I'm gonna buy this anyway, but I don't really feel good about it. People are smarter today, they're more savvy buyers today. You'll never have somebody say, Well, I'm gonna buy it, you better take my money. Now before I change my mind. If if that gets said, your mind is not convinced you're not connected. So I would just say that connection matters now more than it's ever mattered. But it's deep connection. It's not just, Hey, you're my Facebook friend. And so you can buy from me, right? No, it's not that way at all. I hope I answered your question. And I don't mean to go off on a rabbit trail. But that says, I'm telling you, there's nothing that beats connection, nothing at all beats connection.

Robert Peterson 16:20
So you mentioned earlier about seeing expertise on LinkedIn, but not encouragement. And so that was a motivation for you to do something different. Yep. So let's talk about what that made you decide to do?

Brian Sexton 16:35
Well, here's what it made me decide to do. I started to go all in on intentional encouragement. Here's the thing I want to tell you about encouragement, you cannot accidentally encourage somebody. It's not like you bumped into him at the grocery store or something like that. And go, oh, excuse me, I didn't mean to encourage you today. Sorry about that. You can't accidentally encourage somebody. So there's three things you can't do with encouragement. You can't do it accidentally. You can't Pat somebody on the back or give him a kind word or check a box ago, hey, good for me. I encourage somebody today look at look at how great I am. And you can't do it. Unless you're encouraged yourself. You can't pour into somebody from an empty bucket. But that's the thing a lot of leaders don't understand is they want culture change. But the greatest culture change that will ever happen to accompany is when your teams get encouraged. When you walk in, let me let me give you, Robert, do you definition of encouragement?

Robert Peterson 17:46
Hmm, I guess not. I mean, I would I would I would render one of my own but not

Brian Sexton 17:53
okay. So what's your definition of encouragement?

Robert Peterson 17:57
I guess for me, it's to help somebody feel better about themselves, or to be lifted up.

Brian Sexton 18:04
Okay. So I will, I will, I will say this to you. There's a lot of times in that situation that people get hooked on a feeling like the old song says, everybody wants to feel better. We think that's what encouragement does. Here's the definition of encouragement. This blows me away. The definition of encouragement is this is my favorite definition. I'll go back to a couple of other ones. But this is my favorite one. The act of trying to stimulate the development of activity, state, or belief. If I'm encouraging you, I should stimulate what you already believe about yourself. I should stimulate what I believe about you. That should stimulate what you believe about yourself. Nice. Here's the example that I'll give you. I believe with all my heart that my wife is a shrewd decision maker and problem solver. So we have a decision to make. I'll encourage her and I'll say Listen, honey, go with your gut. Do what you feel like is best. What that does is it stimulates her belief in that already. And what it does, it promotes within her the ability to make that decision and do it well. Or if I encourage my son this way, and I say, hey, Bryce, let me tell you something. I believe you're gonna make an impact on somebody today. You're the type of person that when you talk to people, you make an impact. You know what he's gonna do when he goes to make impact and he goes to have that one on one moment with somebody. That belief that dad talked to him about is going to kick in, it's going to make him more powerful. Now let's put the word intentional in front of that, you know, the word intentional means It means done on purpose. It's why you can't accidentally encourage somebody. Here's another definition of encouragement, the action of giving someone support, confidence or hope. Zig Ziglar said encouragement is the fuel that powers hope. What you're doing is you're stimulating, inside of that other person, hope. And you're doing it on purpose. Here's something else to persuasion to do or continue something. That's what encouragement is. It's way more than a pat on the back. And it's way more than a kind word. And it should always be intentional. Because if you don't believe it, how would somebody else that you're trying to encourage, believe it? If you're just doing it for a check in the box, or just to try to have a random act of kindness? You're lying to somebody? And why would you want somebody lie to you? I don't, I wouldn't. So that's why it's more than just a feeling.

Brian Sexton 21:16
If you don't believe it, don't say it. My dad always used to say if you say it, own it.

Brian Sexton 21:24
But that's why intentional encouragement can be so powerful, Robert, is because you can literally transform a person with your words that marries with their own beliefs. Now those beliefs can be negative or positive. Oh, absolutely. Somebody may have in that person's lifetime, never believed in them the way you believe in them. And you know, what, you can stimulate new growth, you can stimulate new life, you can put a plant in the ground that you get at Lowe's. You know, it's like taking like an apple seed or potato seed, you can call that out and put it in the ground and cause new life to come out of the ground. It's not that same potato, if you plant you take that seed out, and you put a that seed in the ground, it's not the same old potato that comes up or the same old apple. It's new life that comes out of the ground. And so if somebody is going through something like that, you might be that person that purposefully plants new seed in them that they've never had planted in them before. That's how intentional encouragement is powerful. Well, that's why. And, Robert, let me let me go just a step further, there's not a person on the planet that doesn't need intentional encouragement. From the leader of the free world, all the way down to the cashier at Walmart. There's not a person on the planet.

Robert Peterson 23:07
lowest level, I'm just gonna say that.

Brian Sexton 23:10
But my point is, well, but here's the thing. How many of us don't put those same people on the same pedestal that we do the President or the Vice President or the governor of a state or a senator or a congressperson,

Robert Peterson 23:24
amen.

Brian Sexton 23:25
We don't put those we don't we don't eat, we don't give those people equal footing.

Robert Peterson 23:29
I'd rather I'd rather lift up the the clerk at my Walmart or my local Kroger than, than any of those others just to be clear.

Brian Sexton 23:38
Well, I can promise you, they're probably way smarter than a lot of those people we got in Washington, DC, or the state houses, they probably got a lot more common sense. Hey, they know how to go to work every day. And they know how to show up and do what they say they're going to do

Noelle Peterson 23:52
and know how to treat people. Yeah. And we all have buckets that need filled.

Brian Sexton 23:57
No, well, that's very well said. That's very well said. We've decided in our society, that those are the folks we should be lifting up. It's not those folks that we should be lifted up. Everybody lifts those folks up. Right. What about the folks that just show up every day and just give their very best effort? Those are the ones we need to be lifted up?

Robert Peterson 24:20
Well, I made a I made an intentional choice. And of course, part of that was was while I was in ministry and and just serving our community that anybody that's wearing a nametag I'm going to use their name.

Brian Sexton 24:35
I do that I do that too. Yeah. And it.

Robert Peterson 24:38
It surprises many of them. Like Wait, how do you wait? They don't even remember they're wearing a nametag half the time because nobody else uses their name.

Brian Sexton 24:46
It lights them up like a Christmas tree. Robert is we would say here in West Virginia.

Robert Peterson 24:49
Yeah, you're our friend. You know, Mr. Dale Carnegie says that a person's favorite words to hear are their own name and so you know when that person at Walmart's wearing their nametag and you just say, you know, hey how you doing today and use their name and ask ask a question or two about their life or what's going on and, and it makes a difference. So I love I love that intentionality. And for me I, one of the titles I wanted to give myself was an intentional coach right to help people be more intentional in their lives. Because

Brian Sexton 25:23
what Listen, I got before I forget it because my 50 year old mind forget stuff. Trust me, I'm there real quick. I was in White Plains, New York, I was flying flying home from White Plains, New York, I was up their own business. And the American Airlines girl at the ticket counter upgraded me. She didn't have to do that. But she did. And I went up to her and I said, thank you. I really appreciate that. And she looked at me and she said, Mr. Sexton, thank you, she said, 95% of the people that approached us always have a problem. She said, Nobody comes and says thank you. So I'm going to, I'm going to give you a little tip here, I'm gonna tell you how connection can can help you. I've made it a point, at most all the airlines that I go through that about five or 10 minutes before I board the airplane, I go up and talk to the person behind the counter and I use their I do what you do, Robert, that's brilliant. I use their name. And then when they call for whoever to come through, I just act like I belong there smile at them. And they let me go right on the plane. Because that same interaction, I saw a lady that I had been interacting with her son was in the military. And I thanked her for her son service in the family service. I saw a couple behind me that tried to get on the plane in the wrong group. And she said, I didn't call your group number. She said you need to step back. And I figure they might have been rude to her. So it is always a good practice to be kind to people just because you never know that you might be that one person in that in their day. That just stops and says thank you. You might be the only person that hear that from today.

Robert Peterson 27:24
We will be right back after this short break. This episode is sponsored by perfect publishing a different approach to publishing a book. Perfect publishing carefully chooses heroes of Hope, who exemplify living a life they created through faith, hope, patience, and persistence. No matter what page you open to in this mini cube of hope you will find a leader with a big heart, you will see you are not alone. The authors may share similar challenges that only hope and action could resolve. Get your free ebook at get a dose of hope.com Welcome back. Let's get back to more greatness.

Brian Sexton 27:59
So why not let God use you? To be kind to somebody else. Like I was talking about random EQ you want you want to talk about a random act of kindness. Just be nice to somebody?

Robert Peterson 28:11
Well, I'm not a fan of random because because you know what? Well, yeah, be

Brian Sexton 28:15
intentional about it. Yeah. 100. Yeah.

Robert Peterson 28:19
and own it. Right. And so. So yeah, what we've we've we've experienced some of those same blessings in being nice to people and in many rental car upgrades and many other opportunity with always returns to you and it and that's never our motivation, though. Right. Right. It's a huge benefit that I'm not going to say no to, you know, when they offer us the Mustang instead of the full size, you know, escort Ford Escort. We're will take the Mustang Of course. Yeah. So we appreciate

Brian Sexton 28:52
that, Tyler, it's hard living in West Virginia.

Noelle Peterson 28:57
What has been the impact of your podcast?

Brian Sexton 29:00
It's a good question. No, well, I don't know. I don't care. Here's the thing that I'll say. If one person gets encouraged by a story that's told, mission accomplished. see so many people fall in love with statistics. No, yeah. I've never seen a world that is so in love with statistics. Like our world is today. Oh, my, my, my tweet got 50,000 likes my you know, the one time I remember on LinkedIn, the most the most views I ever got on a post was the day after six months of being unemployed. I posted about being back to work I get like 56,000 likes. I don't know I don't care. If one person gets encouraged. It's worth talking about

Robert Peterson 29:50
the impact for you.

Brian Sexton 29:52
Um, well, I was going there for a minute so I'll tell you why I continue to. So somebody asked me they said how many episodes you plan on doing To the intentional courage podcast I said at least 365 said, Okay, that's an unusual number. Why is that? Because every episode that we record, we do audio and video. So we post to YouTube, when we post it to our other social media platforms. I do video because if something happens to me, my family can watch an episode a day, every if they want to, they can watch one episode a day, every day for a year, and my face my voice will be there. And in every episode, I might mention them in some way, shape or form. So that's why that's more important to me. Plus, Robert, here's the thing. I've gotten to meet some incredible people, because I have a podcast that are now my friends. And so what what better way to connect with unbelievable people like you and Noel, than to do it through the mechanism of a podcast, to do it and record it. So that 10 years from now, people can hear your story. You know, it there's nothing like it. What What a time? What a time from that perspective to be alive?

Robert Peterson 31:25
Absolutely. Well, you mentioned that intentional encouragement and connection. And you mentioned the definition of encouragement as basically reinforcing belief, the belief that somebody has in themselves, you know, lifting them up. I'm a huge advocate of the believer in the power of borrowed belief. And I think, intentionally encouragement is a way to, to pass on belief in somebody when they don't have belief in themself.

Noelle Peterson 31:57
Yep. And I just point out that we're, that courage is in the word itself.

Brian Sexton 32:04
Yep. 100%. Here's what I don't understand. Okay. I don't understand why we don't tell people more what we value about them. Why more leaders, and this is why I'm intentional about that. There's a guy in my church, and he had got a promotion, he was going to lead people and I said, listening gave you a piece of advice. He said, Yeah, well, it's kind of looked at me a little bit funny. I'm like, Okay, I'm just gonna give you a piece of advice anyway. You manage five people every day, and you're in an environment with those five people. Take one person a day, off to the side for five minutes and say, here's what I value about you.

Brian Sexton 32:54
We don't do that enough. You know, I have leaders in my life. And there are times I want to look at them and go, What do you value about me the most?

Brian Sexton 33:08
What do I do that you value? What do I personify that you value? We do a terrible job of telling people what we value most about them.

Robert Peterson 33:20
Especially those that are closest to us.

Brian Sexton 33:22
Exactly why my friend Kristen Sherry says this so beautifully. Kristen is wrote. She's written a ton of books. Kristen says this, she said people she says people don't leave companies, they leave leaders. There leaving leaders, and especially in this quiet quitting age. I hope you don't have anybody in your audience that's doing this. But I'm going to say it this way, they have the guts to quit. Don't have the guts to tell your your manager how you really feel and don't quiet quit. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. That tells me you don't have any intestinal fortitude. If you're not happy, speak up. Say listen, I don't feel valued. I'm not encouraged, helped me. And if that company doesn't want to do that, then find a company that will. You know, this is you talked about entrepreneurship a few minutes ago, Robert, this is the greatest time in in probably 100 years, probably since the industrial revolution started. This is the greatest time for people to declare themselves a free agent. If you're not being valued, where you're at, put yourself put declare yourself a free agent and look out in the marketplace and see if the marketplace will value at a higher degree.

Robert Peterson 34:56
Chances are Yeah, I mean

Brian Sexton 34:59
listen But baseball players do it. Football players do it basketball players do it when they fulfill their contract. And they've had an incredible Aaron judge who plays left field for the New York Yankees, his contracts up and he hit 62 or 63. home runs this year, I can promise you, there's going to be way more teams in the New York Yankees that are going to value that young man very highly. And the Yankees are going to have to decide at what point how much do we value this young man? Kick? Are we the same team without him as we are with him? And that's what leaders have to understand, are you the same team, with this person or without this person? If they're indispensable, then value them and let them know. And a lot of times that will be more valuable to them than arrays. See, we like to throw money at people and say, Well, if I pay somebody more money, they're going to stay? No. If you pay somebody more money, they're just going to be miserable, and it's just cost you more money, you can do something for them, that's absolutely free. That means more to them than that $10,000 A year raise. People want to stay where they're valued.

Robert Peterson 36:16
Right? Well, I'm going to encourage the listeners especially don't think of it just in your job, or your company, I think think about in your family. Because too often. I mean, I know you and your wife have been together for 26 years, and my wife and I are just a little bit heavier. And, and, and part of the reason why is because we're intentionally sharing why we love each other and what we what's so great about each other and, and that encouragement and too many people go home from work and they dump their trash on their family. And, and they they don't tell their family, the good things. They're just caught up in the negative. And I think this is a great opportunity to think about how can I encourage my loved ones? How can I encourage my kids, and that's so inspiring that you plant seeds in your son that that are going to grow during the day that help him help his belief grow in himself.

Brian Sexton 37:12
And so I'm going to plant another seed for you, Robert. There's a vast difference between appreciation and value. So many times people will say, well, here's a token of my appreciation. A lot of times the token of your appreciation is probably gonna end up in the garbage can.

Robert Peterson 37:30
At some point, swag. Too much swag.

Brian Sexton 37:33
Yeah. So I'll tell you a quick story. So when so in 2001. I was the salesperson of the year my company had a phenomenal year. They gave me about a four foot high trophy and a check. At the time, my son was about a year a little over. Let's see, he was born in September of 2000. That was in February of oh two. He was about a year and a half old. So he was into everything. We got home with that trophy and my wife goes that trophy and Stan how Mike wired. He had a spot picked out on the mantel in the fireplace. She's like, No, you're not hearing me. She's like that trophy is not staying. She said, Do you want a trip to the emergency room with our son because he turned that trophy on himself and poked himself in the eye with the little guy that that has his arms race sticking up. That trophy was in the garbage can within about four days. Now I got to take the nameplate off of it and kept the nameplate but that's my point is the money got spent and the trophy got thrown away. Now if that was the that was the token of appreciation that that tokens gone. But when you do something and you let somebody know their value that stays with them the rest of their lives. We got too many people that are trying to give tokens of appreciation instead of trophies of value so your eternal trophies of value. I value you Robert because you're important to me because we don't say why enough it fascinates me that this generation is so averse to the to the question why? You start asking people why about something it's like you've slapped him upside the face with a wet hamburger.

Robert Peterson 39:43
Well, for me it was it was the drill instructor that taught taught us not to ask why so

Brian Sexton 39:47
yeah, well by the way, thank you for and thank you for your service. But here's the thing people don't understand that why uncovers a lot of things.

Robert Peterson 40:00
We're so secure and so defensive, I think. And I think that that, that the sad thing is that insecurity and defensiveness just leads to less value. Because we're so caught up in our own, that we're afraid that that it'll will will decrease ourselves if we add value to others.

Brian Sexton 40:20
Well, and why is it difficult? And the question to answer for some people, because then they have to come to reality with truth. And we've got a lot of people today that have trouble with the truth. Don't ever have trouble with the truth. Amen. And if you can answer, and so listen, when you start to answer the why question, then you can start to go okay. Well, you know, you asked me why intentional encouragement. And I told you, because I still believe that we're so busy trying to create experts that we've neglected encouragers. Expertise, you know, why do you think we've got experts out there, and I'm not listen, I'm not knocking people that are coaches and have companies. They're great. You know, some of my dear friends are coaches. But everybody wants to be an expert. And so I just decided I was going to be an encourager, yeah, I could write a book on sales have been I did it for 27 years. Sure. I know as much as anybody else out there knows about sales, and I can help you with that. But what are you going to get? At the end of the day, you're just going to get a lot of knowledge and you're not going to be encouraged. You know, that's why I love guys like Zig Ziglar. And his son Tom has become a dear friend of mine. Tom is carrying on legacy. That, I mean, man, he's selling something different than everybody else is selling. But it's something everybody needs. And it just it troubles my heart. It troubles my spirit sometimes that we don't imagine this Robert Noel, I want to I want to give you something to think about. And then your audience something to think about. Imagine if you went to church, with a church full of people that were intentional encouragers how powerful would your church be? Now imagine, Robert, you work with a company. And they've got 50 People that are intentional encouragers. They're encouraging each other. They're encouraging their customers. They're encouraging their vendors. It's possible. It's possible. But we would rather spend money on expertise than we would try to help people become encouragers. And the return on encouragement is far greater than the return on expertise. So I would say this, learn to be an encourager, and then everything gets better.

Robert Peterson 43:14
All right, I don't want to go too far before just asking a little bit more about your book and let you share.

Brian Sexton 43:20
Thank you. That's so kind of you. The book is called people buy from people 10 powerful people lessons from the ultimate people person, my dad. In 59 years of life, my dad left in an incredible impact and impact that is still being felt today. And as I transitioned into my 50s, I found out and I'm realizing the power of of, of legacy. And so this book just simply talks about people buy authenticity, people buy connection, people buy motivation, people buy meekness, people buy authenticity. And so there's 10 principles there that anybody can can implement into their life. You know, if you incorporate one, if I would tell you to incorporate one and tell you know, incorporate connection, and probably right behind it, I would say authenticity. And that's what I love about you, too. You guys are authentic. You know, we were talking before we started recording, I can just tell the authenticity that you bring to this podcast. And I love that I love being around authentic people. So you just probably ought to roll to Nashville sometime and just walk in Ramsey solutions and just see what happens. I'm telling you, the more I look at you I'm like man, this guy is Dave Ramsey's twin.

Noelle Peterson 44:45
That could be fun, but that's a little

Brian Sexton 44:47
I would love to be a fly Noel I would love to be a fly on the wall for that one. You probably walking out there with bags of product and things like that. That'd be awesome. Yeah. If you do that, let me You know, I may drive and I've six hours from Nashville, Tennessee. I may just drive down there to witness that for myself.

Robert Peterson 45:06
Nice. Yeah, my we were sitting in a restaurant and these two little kids just kept staring at us staring at me and their dad finally came over and he says that is kids thought I was the guy from Breaking Bad Breaking Bad. So look like Brian.

Brian Sexton 45:27
Fabulous.

Robert Peterson 45:28
We had to go. Yeah, so I've done it for a Halloween. I've got a big yellow the big yellow suit in the in the gas mask, so we had to look it up you

Brian Sexton 45:35
sign. Well, Noel Did you Did you just hand him a pin go? Brian, you can sign some autographs.

Noelle Peterson 45:42
All right. Well, the dad

Robert Peterson 45:45
for the kid crazier thing for me was Dude, why are you? i I've never even watched Breaking Bad. Why are you letting your eight year olds watch?

Brian Sexton 45:53
Well, yeah, that's that's a great point. That's a really good point. You know that? Yeah. That's a good one there. But no, I thought Dave Ramsey all the way.

Robert Peterson 46:04
All right. I mean, I

Noelle Peterson 46:05
enjoy that one more. I'll ask you, Brian, what is your big dream?

Brian Sexton 46:10
I don't know that I have one oil? It's a good question. I don't really think I have one. I think for me, my big dream is if I go to sleep tonight, and I don't wake up tomorrow, my dream is that people would feel my legacy and feel my impact. I think for me that that has always been the motivating factor for me is have I made impact? Do I make impact? If something happened to me would would people feel my loss? And I think I strive every day to bring that to the forefront. So not so much a dream as as a purpose of being intentional and leaving a legacy. So I would say I would answer that question that way. No. Well, it's a great question.

Robert Peterson 47:00
It's the perfect dream.

Brian Sexton 47:01
i Yeah. I just don't Well, listen, in a perfect world. My ultimate dream would be to coach the Cincinnati Bengals. But that's not going to happen. They got a great coach and Zach Taylor. So I'll just be a well listen, or to call a game I that would be a dream come true. I would love to call a game. I would love to call a Cincinnati Bengals game as the as the play by play guy, that I would like one time to do that. That would that would be a lot of fun.

Robert Peterson 47:30
Nice. I like it. Alright, so typically, we end each episode with our guests sharing their words of wisdom. So what would you share?

Brian Sexton 47:40
You mean, we're not going on for like 10 hours, I was listening. I was coughing up here. You know, I was just I was getting loaded up here I get but I could go for a while I've done three hours of talk radio for a lot of years. So that's another words of wisdom. Every day you wake up, give yourself intentional encouragement, get that bucket full. Because you don't know what you're going to face that day, that you're going to need to keep yourself encouraged through that situation. And for the Christian, I will say it this way, it's hard for the enemy to attack and encouraged mind. Amen. Because you're reinforcing what you're doing with encouragement is you're reinforcing the windows that could that lead to thought. And so what I would say whether whether you start by encouraging yourself with prayer, with with Bible reading with music, and even from a spiritual perspective, you don't have to encourage yourself with spiritual things all the time. You can remind yourself have unhealthy today. I feel good. You know, I am. We're talking here. And I'm like, Man, my voice sounds good today. Like that's encouraging. As to record a podcast here in a little bit. I'm like, Man, that's encouraging. But again, find something to encourage something that encourages you find it, get it go back to those sources. I mean, because I can promise you this, what's not going to encourage you is watching the news. That is not going to encourage you waste your reading the newspaper is not going to encourage you or social media. Exactly, yeah. Thank you No, well, that's not gonna that's not well not unless you find folks that that are that are promoting intentional encouragement. Right. And so again, you know, find those things that encourage you find those folks and encourage you. That's why I'm all the time. You know, And I'll push back a little bit on some folks and say, Hey, this is great. But you're missing that piece of intentional encouragement you're missing. You're missing this encouragement piece. And, and again, it's that important. So yeah, I would just say to folks get encouraged. And stay encouraged is what I say at the end of every episode of my podcast. Because once you get encouraged, it's a lot. You know, it's like losing weight. Once you once you get those pounds off, it's easier to keep weight off than it is to lose a bunch of weight. So it's easier to stay encouraged when you're already encouraged than then trying to just grab a bunch of it all at once. Just get encouraged and stay encouraged.

Noelle Peterson 50:43
That's easy to keep the bucket full when it's at the top

Brian Sexton 50:46
100% Wow, I love that. No, well, you should do the intentional encourager podcast. I need to try it. I need to hand that off to you, your new host of the intentional encourager podcast, Noel Peterson.

Robert Peterson 50:59
Hey, she would guest host anytime you need her to,

Brian Sexton 51:02
you know, we may have to do that we may have to do a guest host do I've not done. I've done a ton of guest hosting for a dear friend of mine. In West Virginia. He's a conservative Christian talk show hosts done a lot of that over 20 years, but I've never done that with the intentional encourager podcast, you may have set off a fantasy, but here's what will happen. I'll get like 8000 views of your podcast that you did guest posting for me and people be like, Oh, good, is sexting gone for good? Is there a new host here? So So I think what are the double edged sword? No. Well, that's it's a great idea, but a double edged sword? No, I have no doubt you would be a one. And that is something to think about it. You now you've given me something to ruminate on. So thank you.

Noelle Peterson 51:51
Thank you so much, Brian, for joining us today. It's been so great hearing your story and hearing about your podcast. And just the the impact that that makes. I know, it's just huge, because I mean, just having that encouragement is just so beneficial. I come from government background, and it's not there. So when you do get that encouragement, and just that overflowing bucket, being able to give from full reserves is so beneficial. So we just appreciate you today. Thank you. Well, no.

Brian Sexton 52:16
Well, you you guys, I tell you what add value to life. There's no greater intentional encouragement than that. I mean, it's, it's powerful, what you guys are doing. I can't wait to have you both on the intentional encourager podcast. And we'll just continue this conversation forward. But thank you for the opportunity to let me share with your audience and have this great conversation with the two of you. Thank you. Thank you.

Robert Peterson 52:39
This episode is brought to you by intentional decisions that lead to massive success. No, those aren't companies promoting our show their qualities that you need to build your business and take control of your life. So to help you out, I'm offering my most popular worksheets to help you plan the future you want and audit your calendar today. The best way to get what you want is to know what it is and start making sure that your calendar matches. You can download them free today at add value mindset.com. If you will take action by just completing these two activities, they will change your life in business. I promise you a new level of results in the coming year. The problem is that we make things so complicated and we lose focus on what is really important. These tools will help you refocus on what matters most. When you align your passion with your purpose in your work. You can be happier and start doing the things you wanted to in the first place like spending more quality time with the kids. To get your free copy of the tools to start tackling your busy schedule. Go to add value mindset.com If you enjoy this show, please like subscribe, leave a review. But most importantly, if you enjoyed this episode, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Share, share, share. In our next episode, hanging affiliate expert talks about the power of building your list telling your story and getting the reps in. You need to take action or in Dave's words unleash the awesome