Robert and Noelle chat with Chris Salem about developing resiliency as an entrepreneur because he saw that his greatest job was being a DAD and he wanted to create the freedom to show up for his family. He talks about creating impact by managing your emotions and your inner critic. He helps leaders shift their inner critic to become their inner champion.
A little bit about Chris...
Our guest today is an accomplished CEO, Business Growth Strategist, Professional Keynote Speaker, Award-Winning Author, Business Trainer, and Radio Show Host & Media Personality dedicated to empowering business owners businesses to boost their brands and business simultaneously from ordinary to extraordinary.Chris Salem’s goal is straightforward – to help serious business owners generate more clients, increasing customer experiences, and scaling their overall revenue and profits quickly and inexpensively.
Over the years, he has developed a keen understanding of the complex issues facing small business owners in the type of volatile economy we have today. His experience has helped him develop skills to educate business owners quickly and effectively to successfully apply the right strategies in the correct order, allowing them to grow their business to its maximum capacity.
His book Master Your Inner Critic / Resolve the Root Cause – Create Prosperity went international best seller in 2016. He also co-authored the recent edition to "Mastering the Art of Success" with Jack Canfield. His weekly radio shows, Sustainable Success is part of the Voice America Influencers Channel and Business Influencers with Tal Radio, part of the Touch-A-Life foundation. He works with organizations such as such as JP Morgan – Chase, Ralph Lauren, GE Research, Oracle, UTC - Pratt & Whitney, Raytheon, Microchip Technologies, Anthem, US Census Bureau, United Healthcare, Laticrete Corporation, Hubbell Corporation, Conning & Company, Foxwoods Casino, the US Senate, and NYPD Forensics Department including universities such as University of Hartford, Westchester Community College, Bay Path University, Worcester State University, and spoke on overcoming limited beliefs for peak performance at Harvard University’s Faculty Club.
Robert Peterson 0:29
Welcome to the Add valued entrepreneurs podcast, where we're on a mission to end entrepreneurial unhappiness. If you're an entrepreneur with a burning desire to change the world, this podcast is for you. We're here to help you transform your life in business so you can achieve the freedom and fulfillment you crave. This show is dedicated to entrepreneurs who want more out of their life, more meaning more purpose, and ultimately, more happiness. You deserve it all. And it's possible. I'm your host, Robert Peterson. Pastor turned life coach for business owners. I believe that success without happiness is not true success at all. But there's always hope for those who are willing to take action. Join us every week as we bring you inspiring leaders and messages that will help you on your journey towards success. Thank you for investing your time with us today. Let's get started. Our guest today is an accomplished CEO, Business Growth strategist, professional keynote speaker award winning author, business trainer and radio show host immediate personality, dedicated to empowering business owners and businesses to boost their brands and business simultaneously from ordinary to extraordinary. Chris Salem's goal is straightforward to help serious business owners generate more clients, increasing customer experiences, and scaling their overall revenue and profits quickly and inexpensively. Robert Noel chat with Chris Salem about developing resiliency as an entrepreneur because he saw that his greatest job was being a dad, and he wanted to create the freedom to show up for his family. He talks about creating impact by managing your emotions and your inner critic, he helps leaders shift their inner critic to become their inner champion. Well, Chris, thank you so much for joining us today. We're excited to have this conversation. And just so looking forward to sharing your entrepreneurial journey with our audience.
Unknown Speaker 2:27
Well, thank you so much, Robert. And well, it's a pleasure to be here. And I'm looking forward to serving today.
Robert Peterson 2:33
So our typical start places your entrepreneurial journey and how you got into to doing what you're doing and the impact you're making.
Unknown Speaker 2:43
Well, I mean, I guess I've always had this entrepreneurial spirit, I can remember the time I was a little boy, I always liked coming up with new new ideas. And, you know, I guess I can credit my parents for having a great work ethic because I, I started working at the age of 12. And, you know, even though it wasn't considered legal, but I can remember working at a batting cage at the age of 12. And while kids would take their quarter that they were making an hour, you know, as a quarterback in those days, and by buying a Pepsi with it, I would save my money because I you know, thinking like a one day I'm going to this money is going to pile up and I can start my own business when I get older. And when I become an adult. So I pretty much had that philosophy. Now, I was not an entrepreneur from the start, you know, I start you know, I went to college, I worked you know, all through high school, right through college, and eventually got a job. And I've worked in the corporate world for probably a good seven, eight years before I finally realized, you know, my personality is that I'm not an employee, I'm, I'm, you know, I just can't I'm psychologically just unemployable in and I credit my friend Jeffrey Combs for that term, by the way. And with that being said, I was able to, you know, finally, you know, go out on my own and instead of, you know, working for someone selling because I was in sales at the time and working for somebody, I decided to now represent certain companies where that I could sell certain things on their behalf. And, you know, it worked out fine. It you know, I enjoyed it for the time being. And, you know, throughout that period, I, you know, I started my own media company with a partner, we ended up selling that company for a good amount of money and, you know, which, you know, set us off financially off on the right foot in a very good way. And from there, I just got involved in other entrepreneurial projects until I got to the point where I, you know, my son was only five years old at the time, and this was back in 2012. And I realized that that even in my own business, I was traveling quite a bit. I was flying all over the world and doing all these things, and I said, you know, the greatest job I'll ever have, that you only get one shot at is being a dad. And I said that I can't do what my dad did to me when he was constantly gone and never around. I don't want to repeat that with my own son. So I made a bold decision to kind of walk away from the business that I had been involved in for quite some time, and got into executive coaching. Because this now, this could be something I could do. On my own, you know, where I didn't have to travel as much, you know, Skype was around right around that time. And, you know, I could, you know, Coach, people on Skype zone things zoom was around at that point yet. And as a result of it, you know, I had to build that business up from scratch, it took me about three years to do that. But one of the things I found out is I loved what I was doing, because, you know, I come from a family of teachers. And, and I was able to employ that that teaching process with training and coaching, working with individuals and businesses, to help them scale and help them achieve the things that were important to them. And I did it always from a place of vow core valley from a place of core values and how I connected with them. And it really played into a lot of the things that really were true to who I was. So you know, over the last 10 plus years now, I don't consider what I do work at or, you know, a business, it is a business, but I consider it you know, something I love doing regardless if I get paid or not, not that I'm going to work for free, but but nonetheless that I do it, you know if it was because I love doing it, and teaching other people how to be successful, both individually and in business. It's just it's just the rewards are just off the charts for me and knowing that the people that do it to get the results. It's just, it's so worth it. And so my journey has been an exciting one. It's I'm not saying it's all been, you know, know where everything went, right. I've had my share of failures, setbacks, challenges, but I look at it as an opportunity not as something that happened to me, but as blessings that allowed me to grow and expand to be where I am today to be a resource and an example for other aspiring business leaders.
Noelle Peterson 7:21
So for you, what does it look like to design your business around your family?
Unknown Speaker 7:26
Well, that's a good question. Well, I mean, work life harmony is so important to me. So when I talk about harmony, you know, people often use the word balanced, but you're never going to see it seesaw balanced on its axis point, it would require an enormous amount of energy from, from a physics standpoint to do that. So it's always teetering. So harmony to me is that give or take effect, it's never going to be perfectly balanced. But to me, it's it's very, very important family is is very important to me. But the first person that you got to put first is you, not in a selfish way, but in a way that's going to create more impact for your family and for your business and the people you serve. Because if I'm not taking care of myself, emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, financially, intellectually, socially, and environmentally, the eight pillars of wellness, for that harmony, how can I fill my cup, to be an example and be a resource for my wife, for my my son, and for the people that I serve in my business. So it's about that priority, I gotta, I gotta fill my cup to take care of my family, and then my customers, and then finding that harmony. So knowing when when I have to, you know, alter things to put a little more emphasis into my clients and work, knowing when to pull back and put emphasis into my family. But always making sure that that foundation, which is the court that the the core habits that I engage in every morning and my daily routine that I do every day now, I've been doing a daily routine, and an evening routine for 25 years, I've never missed a day, even when I'm flying. And I'm like come flying from Singapore back to New York, I'll do it on a plane, it doesn't matter. It's so it doesn't matter where I'm at. I still do it. So having a daily routine is the core foundation to any kind of success, whatever that means to you. It's nice to me that that's what I thought that's what harmony is just knowing when to adjust and modify things in to give and take. And knowing you know how to harmonize that. That's to me, is how I chosen to live my life and do business,
Noelle Peterson 9:33
like consistency and all that you're consistent consistency and discipline and consistency. Yeah, consistency, your values discipline in the are consistent to your morning and evening routine. That's a big part. Yeah, for
Robert Peterson 9:45
us. We talked about, you know, the misnomer of work life balance in the teeter totter is a great example. Right? Because as kids, we were on that teeter totter and and you lean back, lean forward to get it to balance right and, and once it's balanced, what do you have to do? Do you have to freeze? So? So always imagine our household and we raise two kids and everyone's running around like crazy. And then wait, wait, we're balanced. Everybody stop, Nobody move. Because if you move, of course, you're you're out of balance. As soon as that happens, yes, I love. I love work life harmony, and I love the idea of putting yourself first. And really it's, for us, it's helping entrepreneurs design the life, right design, the things that are important, you know, define success in your terms. Because, you know, in your case, you chose your son, right, being a dad was my most important role and, and we only get one shot at family in one shot. And I tell people all the time that I can fix businesses, I can start new businesses, I can help you do all kinds of stuff in business. But fixing a family is a is a is a 10x job and protect the family and let's let's focus on you know, all the ways to build a business that still protects that core thing that really matters to you. So love, love that you did that love that you found success in that online space. Long before, you know everybody was zooming in and doing it on a regular basis. So some really cool stuff in there. So let's talk about this core routine. That's, that's really Yeah. negotiables in there.
Unknown Speaker 11:19
I mean, obviously, prior to this, I had no routine I would wake up whenever I woke up. And you know, I worked out I was a big workout buff I've been working out since I was 18. But at that point, I didn't have really any structure or foundation in my life. But one of the things I do is I wake up at a certain time I wake up every morning at 4am. Now I wasn't in the military. But I just feel like by waking up early, it allows it gives me two hours to do my routine. So by the time six o'clock rolls around, most people are in on my family are still sleeping. So I can by six o'clock, I can be very available to them. Again, when my son was smaller, that was quite useful now that he's going to be 16 years old, you know, I don't have to do that anymore. But with that being said, I could get more done. And I can have that time now to do things with my family to maybe work with a customer in over in Europe, that might be later in the day for them. But my daily routine would be this, I would wake up at 4am I would then go to the bathroom, make my bed, not because I wanted my bed knee but just that I could accomplish a small task, I would then meditate for 20 minutes. And then I journal, I just write whatever comes to mind. And it can be a couple of minutes, that could be 10 minutes, it depends on whatever comes out of my mind onto out of my right hand on to the paper, then I from there, I will go to the gym. Now I don't work out seven days a week. But I work I do resistance training four days a week, I do cardio three days a week, and I do planks every day. So I do that. So some way I do workout every day, but not like, you know, I'm not doing resistance training every day, then I come back, I will shower start with a cold shower, working my way up to warm water. And then I'll eat a healthy breakfast. After that I will read a chapter or two out of a book something either relevant to what I'm working on, or for a client that you know, I can use that information to help them or clients in general. And then I review my daily goals for the day. So I do that seven days a week, 365 days a year. And the reason why that is so important is because if for anything to stick takes six months or more for it to kind of be embedded at the subconscious level. It takes about three weeks for habit to form. But it won't truly be embedded at the subconscious level for about six months or more depends on the person. So I don't want to say it's six months, exactly. It's really depends. But what's important here is discipline, and consistency. Because if you're waiting for motivation, you're going to be waiting for the rest of your life. Motivation is fleeting, it's not something you should rely upon. This is why New Year's resolutions do not work. It's doing it even if you if you don't want to do it, you do it anyway, like Nike says just do it. As long as it serves you. It's going to not only serve you but you're going to serve other people around you that observe that in your communication, in your ability to how you behave your attitude, how you respond versus react to situations and people and your action that is more powerful to influence and impact somebody then you just telling them, You know what you're doing or how to do it. Your example in your resourcefulness are more valuable to people, especially to your loved ones. So, for me a foundation really changed the way I think it taught me to think from instead of thinking in the past in the future, from fear from my limiting beliefs, you know, it tied to expectations to outcomes. It taught me how to think in the moment from intentions focused only on What I could control not what I can't, and then trusting the process to lead to the results that I seek. That took me a little while to get that you grasp that. But when I made that shift in my thinking, it just changed everything. My confidence went up, my communication improved to myself and others, I made better decisions, I took calculated risks, I follow through massive action improved, my attitude is things happening for me, not to me, and allowed me to respond to situations and people better not react to them.
Robert Peterson 15:34
So see, obviously, you have a lot going in that in the morning routine, how important is your evening routine to set that up?
Unknown Speaker 15:41
my evening routine is simply you know, just having a gratitude list, even if it was a tough day, to find what I was grateful for, it might include a body scan meditation, you know, to kind of release any last minute things that built up in my body, doesn't mean I do it every, every night, I might do it two or three times a week. And then I'll read something light, not something that's going to captivate me, but something light that will allow me to get become drowsy. So this way, I can sleep much better. And I can sleep now with you know, from a place of clarity, not bringing any of the tough things that happen that day to bed with me only to disrupt my sleep, and then wake up the next morning groggy and tired. So those are the things that I do every every day, every evening. And it's just that it's the accumulation effect or the compounding effect, you do do something every day that serves you, it's gonna, it's gonna impact you in a positive way.
Noelle Peterson 16:38
I like that you said that you're doing it seven days a week, because it's, I think it's habit and you know, normal for us to think that, you know, my Monday through Friday routine is different than my Saturday, Sunday routine. And it's consistency, it's all the time it's your on your family's watching and how you react and how your brain brain is watching is 24/7. It's not just Monday through Friday,
Unknown Speaker 16:59
exactly, it's not situational, or once in a while. And it's, I look at it as that, you know, we grow and expand through challenges, we don't grow and expand when everything's going right or, or because you become complacent and bored. I'm always stretching myself not straining, or to the point of burnout, that that's, that's again, that there's no harmony there. But staying in harmony, stretching myself to grow, taking on challenges, seeing them as opportunities to grow. And you know, trusting that process, because I know I don't have to come wake up and control somebody else's emotions, or their communication or their behavior or their attitude, I'm not responsible for that. I'm only responsible for those things in myself. And but I can be that example every day for people that matter, then hopefully that rubs off on them in a positive way they can do for themselves, and pass that gift on to others. That to me is what creates more interdependency, bringing people more together to you know, in their role and duties to complement one another, not to depend on each other, it's a big difference. So you don't have a place of empathy and kindness, not from pleasing and enabling.
Robert Peterson 18:10
So you talked about bringing people together. So let's talk about the value of connection in growing your business and growing yourself.
Unknown Speaker 18:18
So in terms of connection, it's got to start with you again, I do a big talk, I bet. In fact, I just talked about this today for a company, Oracle for their women's leadership group, that if you're going to create more impact to be the example for people you lead, regardless of your title, whether this is as a parent of a sibling, whatever, or you know, in your business, you got to learn how to really manage your own emotions, you got to you got to be able to change the way you think. Now how you do that is that's going to impact the way you communicate to yourself, are you communicating to yourself from the from your inner critic, or your inner champion, if you're if you're, you're coming from here and a champion, you're going to be more specific, clear and concise with your communications yourself, you're going to know what you're good at what you're not good at and be honest with it. You're going to be comfortable in your own skin. And you're going to know when it comes to communication as the sender or the receiver, you're always responsible for that that level of communication. So if somebody says, Hey, I required this right away and walks away, well, they should have been more specific, clear and concise, but they weren't. Well, it'd be nice if they were but I gotta be responsible still. Regardless, I have to go up to him and ask well, what do you mean that you require this right away is that mean? At the top of the hour at the end of the day or the end of the week? So by me clarifying that, though, that that that propensity for for of expectation to fall through the cracks is decreased. Because I made that communication more specific, clear and concise. I lowered the level of assumption and speculation. So that way, you know, it wouldn't cause any problems or would decrease the problem. And this is why we have conflict in, in business, why we have conflict in marriages. And because it's all miscommunication. Everybody sees it from what they think it should be, rather than what it is. And they're always getting caught up in the control, they can't control versus the control they can. But when we can learn to do that, we can cut now we can put aside who's right, who's wrong, and do what's best for the situation to solve, solve the problem and create a solution.
Robert Peterson 20:29
Well, it's really powerful to communicate expectations, and we rarely start there, although those expectations are what creates that conflict. Most of the times,
Unknown Speaker 20:39
that's why Robert, well, I don't even use expectations. I don't even when people say what are your expectations? I said, I don't have any. You don't have any, then how do you get things done? Well, I have goals and objectives, and I have intentions. So I can go out there and do everything within my control my communication, my behavior, my attitude, my emotions, and my actions. That's all I can do. And the tasks that associated with that, if there are things going on in my industry or in the economy that impact that that are beyond my control, I have no control over what why should I worry about it? Why should I place my energy there, when it's not going to help? Anyway, I just got to focus on what I can control. But what I've seen time and time, again, is that when you do that, somehow things work out doesn't always mean it's going to be exactly the way that you envisioned it, but they always work out. And then you ask yourself why in the past it I used to just stress myself out or be so have all this anxiety and be frustrated and angry. And then like when it when it all worked out, you would say oh, God, thank God, I don't have to do that again. And then when it happened, again, you did it all over again. I've learned now not to do that. And and I trust the process, I trust that everything is going to work out as long as I show up and do my part and give 150% to what I can control daily. Knowing when to stop and put a boundary, you know, when it's time to you know, hang up and close the door and go be with my family, go do something for me. And that harmony. So just kind of again, having a plan, you know, plan planning, I plan everything i i do and in terms of my life and my business. So that structure is there to guide me.
Noelle Peterson 22:23
Yeah, we talk about boundaries a lot. And being able to say no is hard. It's a concept that I struggle with in the past. But the idea that you're saying yes to the priorities and you're yes to what's important to you, you you said yes to your son. And it's a boundary but it's it's a way to say yes to what matters and be okay with letting go things that don't fit and don't aren't in harmony.
Unknown Speaker 22:47
Exactly, because there's gonna be the case with my son when he was growing up. Okay, if he had 10 baseball games, well, if I were at nine of those 10 That's awesome. But there's probably going to be one that you know, I just couldn't be there because there was a really important work thing. Now while my son and his game while my son is the most important thing in my life to my good my wife, there's going to be sometimes a sacrificing I may not be able to be at every game. But if I missed one out of the 10 still good and it's not like I missed nine games because I put work first and only attended one I only missed one and attended nine so again you got to be gave it look at you know the pros and cons you know what's important, prioritizing things and valuing your time and that's one thing I had to learn how to do because I I can manage time. But managing time was not enough because I would allow distractions in and not realize it. But now that I value time I'm able to offset the distractions within my control, and to create an environment that allows me to be productive and more laser focused on things that
Robert Peterson 23:57
we will be right back after the short break. Are you an entrepreneur who started their business with purpose and passion, only to lose sight of it amidst the daily grind? We understand how frustrating that can be. That's why we're offering free strategy calls to help you gain clarity on the barriers holding you back from achieving your dreams. In just 30 minutes. Our experienced coaches will work with you to identify obstacles and develop strategies for overcoming them. There is no commitment or pressure. Just a chance to get some assistance and clarity human scheduling is easy, simply visit smiling call.com and select a time that works for you. Let's jump on a call and build your business together. It's time for you to add value and achieve your full potential as an entrepreneur. Welcome back. Let's get back to more great Well, we talked about it being intentional, right, you're intentional and your thoughts from the beginning of the day. You're intentional in your plan of the things you're going to execute. And I think the willingness to let go the outcome right. We recognize that If I go, if I take this step up the steps and I take the next step, I take the next step at some point, the outcome will be I get to the top of the steps. But the truth is, I can only control the process, I can't control whether I get to the top or not. But I can take each step in recognizing that each day in planning those steps for your business that steps for your family, the steps for the things that you you want to accomplish. But it is really challenging to let go of the outcomes.
Unknown Speaker 25:26
Yeah, it could be debt, trust me, I was a control freak. And being a recovering perfectionist, it took me a while to figure that out. And knowing how to delegate that was also a tough lesson for me to learn. But I did i It's been a while now since I got over that hump. But it's something that I'll never take for granted.
Noelle Peterson 25:47
So I know you wrote a book, Chris, tell us about your book and the impact it's made.
Unknown Speaker 25:52
Well, the name of the book I put out, which is now almost God, it's been over six years now, it's hard to believe it's been that long. It's called master your inner critic, resolve the root cause create prosperity. And it's a book that shares how to overcome your self limiting beliefs from childhood. Your self limited beliefs are forged during your child development years, there will impact your level of confidence and self esteem. And as you become an adult, it'll impact not only that, but how you communicate to yourself and others, your behavior, your attitude, you take risks, or don't take risks, how you take action, or you're busy and not productive, and all of the above. So I talked about how that, you know, through my own personal struggle, how I was able to overcome them, and then adopt a different way of thinking and how we can eliminate those limiting beliefs, and replay and rewire our brains to think in a different way. In the moment. I you know, you could call it a resilient mindset, which is not situational, but something that you do every day, or mental toughness, whatever you'd like to call it, and how that changed how I looked at things I began to like not I was not the victim anymore, I saw that all these things that happened to me as opportunities to grow and expand. And it just elevated my level of confidence, not from ego, but from just a place of my beingness. And as a result of improved my communication to myself and others my behavior, I shifted away from codependent behavior and communication to being interdependent where I was very assertive, not passive or aggressive. And as a result, my attitude changed. I began to respond to situations and people not react. And I just took massive action to what I could control and let go of everything else. And it changed my life, it doesn't mean everything became easy. And everything worked out for me. Every time No, I probably had more obstacles and challenges. But again, I look at them as blessings. I actually liked that. And I because I know I'm going to grow. And I know it's going to open up new doors and new opportunities. And sure enough, it has, and I wouldn't have it any other way. And I just always I encourage people when I do keynotes, or when I'm speaking or training or coaching, that if you can learn to do this for yourself, you'll begin to see life in a completely different way, you'll see business in a completely different way. And you'll see you'll see that it life is truly a blessing. It's not this terrible world that you've been led to believe because nothing is going right. And you gotta in order to change that you got to change yourself, nothing else is going to change unless, you know, unless you change yourself. You're Not You can't change anything outside of yourself anyway.
Robert Peterson 28:34
So So what are some of the blessings of running your own business while raising your family?
Unknown Speaker 28:39
Well, the blessings are, that I it gives me the ability to you know, just you know, make decisions, you know that you know, that we're, you know, if I want to work certain amount of hours I can or you know, if I'm going to take off certain days, so I have flexibility in my schedule to work around family stuff, vacations and doing things like that. I love the fact that I can be more creative. I know that because I'm you know, I'm a free, I'm a critical thinker, sometimes that that may not always go over well in certain corporations. So me that kind of that kind of environment would not be conducive to me even though I work with a lot of companies in this particular area in terms of training and coaching myself in general, I probably wouldn't be a good fit for that. So I tend to you know, I'm an entrepreneur, and that's where my mindset is that that's the lifestyle I've chose. And I wouldn't have it any other way. It's just who I am. It's just it represents my values. It represents my personality, and my ability to become more to or be more to become more and then do things better to generate different results and be a better example and resource for others.
Noelle Peterson 29:50
So good. So with all the success you've had, what is your biggest challenge?
Unknown Speaker 29:54
Well, my biggest challenge is just like with anything you know? I while I value my time, and I do, it's not always, you know, easy. And you know, sometimes like you wish there could be more hours in a day, you know, where you could do if you could do just one more thing to be in, be there to, you know, speak to help somebody helped themselves. But the reality that that's not the case, we can only do so much. And so I have to be able to learn that, that I'm never going to be everything for everyone, nor will I ever will be. But just knowing that, that if you can impact one person at a time, you know, even if it's just a few people, that's a blessing. And that's what I'm committed to do. And I know every day is not going to be, you know, the same day, or it's always going to be the best day. But I but I'm always committed to showing up to be my best not to be the best, but to be my best, better than I was yesterday.
Robert Peterson 30:56
so valuable that 1%. So let's talk about what a mentors meant in your journey.
Unknown Speaker 31:04
Well, I think mentorship is very, very important. You know, I think that we're all teachers and students simultaneously, you know, sometimes we have to take off the, you know, the teacher hat to put on the Student app, because we're in a place where we can now learn from somebody in it. And that's regardless of age. I learned all the time, even for people that are half my age, some of them even my son, I learned things that I don't know. And, but but I feel that mentorship is key, because a great mentor, you're going to learn from their experience you're going to learn from, you know, how that relates to who you are, and how you can apply those principles to see, if they apply to your situation, doesn't mean you become like them. That's not what mentorship is about. It's taking what works, what doesn't work, and then applying it to your situation. And allowing you to grow a great mentor is going to help you keep you accountable, and help you keep on you know, being honest to yourself not going to do for you. And it's going to be you know, share their experience and be the example of that on a continuous basis when you're around them. And I think they're highly valuable for anybody's growth, I would always recommend anybody or any, you know, have an event or somewhere in your life wherever you require that the most.
Robert Peterson 32:21
And one of the one of the things you mentioned earlier, was that, that emotional awareness and emotional control, and how do you help your clients recognize that, that these emotions are signals, and are telling us something about ourselves, and not necessarily, you know, something to be acted upon?
Unknown Speaker 32:41
Well, like I said, when there's pain in the body, you know, sometimes it can, we could have certain thoughts, or we might be struggling see it as a message and opportunity to do something different. Maybe you have to give up something, maybe you have to do something that you're not used to doing. Because if you keep doing the same thing you're doing, you're gonna keep getting the same message and the same results. So for me, the those are blessings in disguise. And that, you know, sometimes it shows up in the body in terms of where we have pains and aches somewhere. And that might be the wake up call, you know, for us to do something different in a different way. But we have to be it, we have to be it and we have to think differently to be become it if we're going to do it different, you know, and generate better results. So for me, I see those things as blessings, and then you know, allow me to think of what can I do different, that's going to help me to move forward not stay where I am or regress backwards.
Robert Peterson 33:39
So, obviously you speak and teach about designing a life that you love. How does that work for your clients and for those that you serve? Well,
Unknown Speaker 33:49
it's great. We do this in a lot of trainings for Fortune 500 companies, we do this with individuals in small groups, when we work with entrepreneurs, because we're a firm believer that again, you know, that work life harmony is very important. You can't be just working all the time and you got to have time for yourself time for your family. So we tend to cover a lot of ground in that area in terms of you know, core values and how we connect with them. You know how to think differently so we are big proponents of that as the as the foundation the foundation is this how we think differently, and how we communicate to ourselves and others from those values. That's what builds for what people
Noelle Peterson 34:32
you mentioned gratitude as part of your evening routine. What is the value of having that thought process in that this reminder of gratitude each night?
Unknown Speaker 34:40
Well, what gratitude does it just reminds you that you know that whatever you're dealing with, if you're dealing with stress or anxiety or anger frustration, that a lot of times it's it's more self created like you created most of that inside what really is it's because you're so caught up in what you think things should be versus What is so when you begin to look at life and business for what it is not what you think it should be, it changes everything. You don't see things now from a place of stress, anger, frustration, and that can lead to inflammation in the body. As a result of that, I begin to see things for what it is, and then what can I control in this situation, that could be better. That's it. That's all I can do. So if I'm in traffic, and um, now I left an hour earlier than I usually do, but yeah, I'm still gonna be late. Well, I did everything within my control, I left an hour earlier. And there's this traffic and there's, so I'm not going to be on time. Did everything I could, I mean, would bite me stressing about it or, or trying to drive on the sidewalk and get arrested by a cop, it's not worth it. Just to get me to where I gotta go. So I learned to adapt. You know, I mean, I just told this story to Oracle today, where, where there was a situation where the very thing I was supposed to speak at, at at a at a company. And I left it was not far from where I live. But there was a there was an accident, and it caused this traffic where I had nowhere to go, I could not get out of it. And I left early, I would have been there an hour before I had to be there. And because of this accident, there was no way I could get there to do the event. So the worst case scenario was I'm gonna have to cancel it. But then when I talked to him on the phone in my car, because I was stopped. I said it, can we modify this last minute? Can we do this by zoom. And I know I'm sorry about this and negative? Well, it's not your fault. I mean, I and, and we ended up doing it by zoom. And I simply found a way to go to the side. And I did I did the talk right from my car, on the side of a highway where the cars were moving. And did it nice, it was fine. And then I looked back I said, Well, I could have made that worse than it really could have been, I could have been screaming and yelling and hitting the hitting the dry, you know the steering wheel and beeping the horn and not to change the situation. But again, it just allowed me to think in the moment to adapt to what is and make that adjustment.
Robert Peterson 37:21
So obviously, you talk about core values and how to think differently as as kind of the foundation. And really, this is Character Development. And one of the things I see a lot in the online space is entrepreneurs feeling like part of their fake it till they make it is putting on that impression that they've made it. Right. So talk a little bit about authenticity and the importance of authenticity, you in your role.
Unknown Speaker 37:52
Yeah, I'm not a big fan of fake it till you make it because a lot of times what that could do is that can also get you into a lot of trouble. You know, sometimes I've seen I'm a business coach, and sometimes I will see somebody that is aspiring to be a business coach. But then one they've never really ran a business to, they're there. They don't know what a KPI is key performance indicator, they don't know how to calculate a net profit margin. And now they're, they're supposedly teaching people how to do this in their business, you're gonna get yourself into trouble. So it's better to be transparent that, hey, I'm aspiring to be a business coach, and I'm learning, I can help people in these areas of that, and I'm more. But yeah, you don't have to disclose that you're doing your learning these other things that you have to do, you can do that on your own time. And but me, you know, just meet people where you're at with what you know, and the value that you bring, you don't have to be everything. For everyone, there's always going to be people that require certain things only that you could provide and get in provide value. But I think a lot of times when you get people that fake, fake, you know, fake it to make it they just, you know, they try to be everything for everyone. And then this is they can get themselves into trouble. And if you get somebody that you do something wrong, and then they sue you. If you don't have insurance, and you know, you could be you could be in trouble. So that's the thing that I always say, I'm not a big fan of fake it till you make it. Be just be transparent. Just be you know, focus on what you're good at. And then if you have to incorporate these things later and learn as you go, that's what you do. Absolutely.
Noelle Peterson 39:30
What do you like to do in your free time, Chris?
Unknown Speaker 39:32
Well, in my free time, I just I love being by myself, believe it or not. I mean, people say well, you're an extrovert, you know, you're so good with people and I'm like, Well, yeah, but I'm really, I wouldn't consider myself to be an extrovert. I consider myself to be kind of on both sides. Because when I'm done speaking or if I'm done doing a group training or coaching, I like to go to my hotel room or I like to just go home and yeah, of course I'd be with my wife and my son, my son's old are now so you know, he's doing his own thing. But I like to be by myself. I don't want to be surrounded by tons of people because you know, I gotta read, I gotta, I gotta you know, I put out so much energy being on that I got enough come back and refuel my energy and that to me, it's my time and so I love peace and solitude oftentimes I, you know, I love to go for walks, whether it's with my wife or not, and, and I have no problem being alone. I mean, I'm just
Noelle Peterson 40:30
that's what Jesus taught me the end of the day.
Robert Peterson 40:33
What's so what's your most memorable date with your wife?
Unknown Speaker 40:37
My most memorable Oh, God, well, I'll this will be an interesting one. It's the first time we actually had our first date. And it was not. I'm happily remarried. By the way I'm I was married once before my son was from my first marriage. And my my wife now of eight years is Maria. She is Venezuelan. And when I met my wife, we had met on eHarmony. And I had was honest with my I was honest with my, my, what we know who I was, while I was looking for. And apparently my wife did the same thing. And kind of that's how we got matched up by the algorithms. But she was in in Maracaibo in Venezuela, you know, and here I am in, you know, outside of New York area, I'm like, Okay, well, how's this gonna work, and with all the crazy things that were starting to happen at the time in Venezuela, I'm like, I don't know about this. But sure enough, I started communicating with her for six months on Skype, this is gonna be for zoom. And we got to know each other. We were like friends, we just got to know each other. We never met her physically in person. And then our first date happened to be in a neutral location, which was in Curacao which is a sister island of Aruba. I can easily fly from New York to Curacao. She could fly easily from Maracaibo to there because Venezuela's not far from Curacao. Now, here's what happened. I got there, no problem. Her plane, she flew from Mira Cabo to to Caracas. And then they canceled the flight from Caracas to America so it was almost never meant to be. But my wife was a lawyer. And she said that this plane has to fly from Caracas to Karissa because there are people waiting to come back from curse out of Caracas and people here that have to go to curse up. In addition, I got a date with destiny, my destiny. And she goes, this is going to happen. She said, Well, ma'am, we can't we don't have anybody that process tickets. She goes, I'll do that for you. She did she did it. She was able to convince them she did all the ticketing did this for did it and that that plane took off. She was supposed to be there early in the evening. And she didn't get in till like 230 in the morning, because I had a knock on my door. And she goes a load in this is me. And I'm like, and here we are, you know, now for the first time in person that I can talk to this woman I've been talking to for six months on a computer screen. Wow. We just had, you know, four or five days together that if you call that that the longest date ever. And it was wonderful. And we I went to go see her in Venezuela, she came to New York, I went to Venezuela. This is before Venezuela started getting bad. We're you know, it was not good for me to be there dangerous. But I asked her to marry me when I went to her cousin's wedding. In Venezuela, we became now the center of attention, not the married couple anymore. And and sure enough, my wife moved here because obviously I had a young son at the time still and had to be here for him. And we've been happily married. And we have the most wonderful relationship. And it's completely interdependent. We, we we take care of our own selves. We were responsible for each of our roles and duties, whatever that may be. And we just complement one another. Her happiness isn't dependent upon me and vice versa. And it's just a healthy relationship. That obviously I did not have. Well, at least I was healthy, but I didn't. But you know, my, my ex wife was just heavily codependent. And I just, I didn't I didn't want my son growing up, you know, thinking that was normal. And
Robert Peterson 44:31
Congratu. Congratulations. That's pretty exciting. And I'm so glad that she's no longer in Venezuela because we lived in Colombia for 10 years. So we understand the situation. Yes.
Unknown Speaker 44:39
My mother even though she's better with what she lives with us. She's She was originally from Colombia. So
Noelle Peterson 44:46
nice. Nice. Yeah. One of our good friends was Venezuelans living in Colombia.
Unknown Speaker 44:52
Well, there's a lot of them in Colombia are here because you don't want to be in Venezuela these days.
Robert Peterson 44:59
All right, Christopher. What's, what's your big dream?
Unknown Speaker 45:02
Well, my big dream is to, you know, impact as many people as I can, I'm not going to be everything for everyone. But anywhere I could be the example and be a resource to impact people to be their best, not the best to do what they love to do, and show up and give 150% and make the world a better place. I mean, that's what I'm all about, you know, live, you know, fulfilling your purpose and how that shows up as a parent, as a spouse, in your business, whatever that may be in your community, just knowing how to how to live a life of harmony.
Robert Peterson 45:37
Well, we're excited. We're looking forward to you coming back to Colorado in June and speaking at Achieve, well,
Unknown Speaker 45:44
I can't wait to be there. I've been telling Robert and Vanessa, I'm looking forward to it. It's, I got a great keynote talk plan for everybody. And it's gonna be quite fun. We're gonna make it engaging and fun. And looking forward to spending this time I'm gonna be there for the full duration. Because I know when I came out the last one, it was last minute, Robert asked me to come out. And I had already had a, I was talking for a company the day before, so I couldn't be out there Friday. So I flew out Friday night to be there Saturday.
Noelle Peterson 46:12
You don't want to miss it. It's a great, great weekend.
Robert Peterson 46:15
Oh, yes. Well, and you're the leader, you're the lead show. So we were
Unknown Speaker 46:19
looking forward to it. I'm going to be I can't wait to just meet you see both of you and meet new people and, and just have a good time and just have fun.
Robert Peterson 46:30
Well, we will absolutely make some introductions, and I look forward to connecting. Thank you so much for hanging out with us. Today. We end every show by letting our guests share their words of wisdom to our entrepreneurial audience, what would you share?
Unknown Speaker 46:44
Well, I'll just leave it on this with the statement that could if you really listened to and apply it every day, it'll change your life. Give without expectation, receive without resistance. And what that means is that when you give without expectation, you're doing it from a place of empathy and kindness, be the example and be a resource. Don't do it for people don't please enable them that's codependent give without expectation know when to put up a healthy boundary, of course that so people don't take advantage and receive without resistance, meaning that when it comes back from somewhere else, that if it serves you in any capacity, you receive it with gratitude, don't deny it. Don't say, Oh, you don't have to do that. Yeah, that's, um, good. No, because you're denying yourself more prosperity, and you're denying that person receive it. Because when when you give it out, you it comes back to you to fill your cup to continue to be able to give and you just keep repeating that cycle. That's what prosperity is all about. And I'm just I've been putting that statement to test for many years. And I can tell you, it works. I'm not saying it's always going to be easy that you're never gonna have any more challenges because you've been affected probably have more challenges, but you'll see them in a completely different light and you will appreciate them more. Because when you when you trust the process, the results that you see long term will be much more than you've ever imagined. The if you were doing it the other way around. So much
Noelle Peterson 48:15
valuable insight. I can't wait to process this podcast. I can listen to it all over again. But thank you so much for joining us, Chris. It's been a pleasure having you on our show.
Unknown Speaker 48:24
Thank you for having me. It's such a pleasure to be here to serve your audience.
Robert Peterson 48:29
Thank you for tuning in to this episode brought to you by the power of intentional decisions that lead to massive action. Those aren't just buzzwords. They're qualities that can help you take control of your life and build a successful business. To support you on this journey. We're offering you our most popular survey to help you establish a baseline visit enjoy biz life.com. To check it out and take the first steps towards changing your life in this we often make things more complicated than they need to be losing sight of what's truly important. This tool will help you refocus on what matters most, so that you can start doing the things you've always wanted to do, like spending quality time with loved ones. And if you enjoyed this episode, please show us some love by liking, subscribing, or leaving a review, but most importantly, share it with someone who needs to hear it. In our next episode, Robert Noel chat with Coach Dan Gordon who empowers audiences and clients to believe in their own inner power. He challenges people to face their fears on a daily basis and change their thinking change the way they react to know