Lila Veronica

and Robert  talk about the connection between mind body and spirit and how important that is in the sales conversation. We spend too much time in our head and not enough time in our body. Let your body do the talking and you will communicate better, sell better and overall have better results.

A little bit about Lila...

As a Speaker, Podcast Host and CEO of The Riverstone Movement School, Lila Veronica helps high-performers, business owners & organizational leaders shift the physical component of their life. She integrates movement into your mental-mastery journey, so you can reach a greater potential faster without stressing or burning out.

Lila has taught mind-body practices for over 20 years and holds a global vision to connect and uplift visionary leaders around the world. She teaches leaders embodiment practices so they can bring their visions to the world faster.

Through her speeches, programs, retreats, and collaborations with other thought leaders, Lila has personally mentored leaders on all 7 continents to value themselves more, move mindfully, radically grow their revenue and increase their global impact.

 As a heart-based leader, her former career was in the environmental field. She taught environmental policy at The Ohio State University, consulted for engineering firms and collaborated with environmental agencies. She’s passionate about creating meaningful connections to create a better world, no matter what work she does..

 In addition to growing her Riverstone Movement School community & uplifting her teachers, she enjoys growing food, playing with her chihuahua and spending time with her family.

Check out more of Lila

Sign-up for the 42-Day Feel Good Challenge atRiverstoneMovement.com

Learn more about Lila atTheLilaVeronica.com

LinkedIn: /lilagonzalez

Listen to the audio

 

LISTEN NOW

Watch the conversation

 

WATCH NOW

Our Gift For You

Get actionable advice that our guests have share

Get Your Free Gift

Show Notes

 

READ NOW
Lila Veronica
59:18
 
Video Poster Image

Show Notes

Robert Peterson  0:00  

Today's guest is Leila Veronica, a speaker podcast host and CEO of the Riverstone movement school. Lila helps high performers, business owners and organizational leaders shift the physical component of their life. She integrates movement into your mental mastery journey. You can reach a greater potential faster without stressing or burning out. Lila taught Mind Body practices for over 20 years and holds the global vision to connect and uplift visionary leaders around the world. She teaches leaders embodiment practices, they can bring their visions to the world faster. Lila Veronica and Robert talk about the connection between mind, body, spirit and how important that is in the sales conversation. We spend too much time in our head and not enough time in our body, let your body do the talking. You will communicate better, sell better. Overall, I have better results. Lila, thank you so much for joining me today. I am just so excited. We met actually just a month or so ago and just hushed you. I was so engaged with what you were teaching and so engaged with the opportunity to chat with you and not have seen so much value that you're putting out into the world. Excited to chat today.

Lila Veronica  2:18  

Thank you so much. I'm grateful to be here.

Robert Peterson  2:21  

I typically started by just sharing your own entrepreneurial journey and what got you to where you are today.

Lila Veronica  2:30  

I really appreciate being here. This podcast, in particular, is amazing. I'll share why I resonate with it so much. It was really nice to meet you and to see your smile. We had a conversation about the smile and its impact on life, the physical form the dopamine releases the way we show up in the world. I'll share with you one of the reasons I loved that conversation was because a lot of the work that I do in the world is around helping, especially women who embody their value. Your podcast is add value to entrepreneurs. You start off in the description talking about how there's a lot of thinking a lot of entrepreneurs have in their head. I'll share my journey but I'll tell you at the end and then start. Basically what I have learned is that it's not the thinking mind, it's not the figuring it out. It's not knowing that leads to success in any part of our life, health, wealth, relationships, it's not any of that. It is something else beyond that. It's our energy. It is in our body or state or full form. I grew up in Dayton, Ohio, and I grew up with a single mom, who was not very kind didn't do me. However, I excelled in academics. When I got love and attention at school, what did I do? I did more of that. I remember a lot of times, the question in my mind was, what am I going to be when I grow up, which was very much identity based? Never How am I going to feel? Am I gonna be happy? Nobody ever had I never asked that nobody ever asked me that? I spent my first 35 years learning, teaching, learning, teaching. I used to teach environmental policy at the Ohio State University

Robert Peterson  4:56  

O H i o

Lila Veronica  5:00  

Before that I worked in consulting with engineers. Before that I got a bachelor's and a master's. I was always a highly academic person, highly athletic person, though as well. Did a lot of dancing, personal training, weightlifting, softball, baseball tee balls, a kid rode bikes, I did aerobics, I was very much needing my body to move, because I had a lot of energy. I would have guessed that if I were a kid, nowadays, they would think I'm ADHD. I was always told to be quiet, and sit still. Now I work in the world, where I speak and I move. We don't all have the same gifts, we're not all supposed to sit still, all the time, stillness is powerful. It's not my highest essence in the world. I really got to a point where I was in the thinking state, when you're in academia, you're really thinking a lot, you're in that heady place philosophical ideas. I remember, you can be embodied. I never really learned about that. I just thought thought thought thought thought. I remember really burning out my adrenals. I went through a series of yoga classes for 42 days. Everything changed for me. I decided to leave all that moved to Colorado, from Ohio, sell everything, get into this whole new one, it's really a mindful movement embodying more of a powerful open dynamic movement state instead of a static mind state. When you see somebody walking in their thinking, and their distress, you're like, oh, man, that hurts. When you see somebody bright and bouncy, and happy and live, wow, it's a total different person, and you want to be around the ladder, not the first, it's just easier and we resonate, like bees to honey to the people that light up. I found myself in a really kind of darker, depressed place. I was trying to fight it, and be bright, but it was all on the head. How to get into the body. I know, this is a long story, but I'll tell you, it's how I started my business. What I recognized was once I spent about two years in my own body movement series, and learning everything, looking at my body, being with it, feeling it, moving it opening it, strengthening it losing weight, lowering my blood pressure, getting rid of sciatica, becoming truly happy, I realized that the emotions, the issues are in the tissues. Then I got into coaching, because it was like, Whoa, all this stuff was coming up for all my clients. I was like, I don't know how to handle this. I'm not a therapist. I was like, I had my own coaches, I had gone through my own therapy, actually, through the childhood issues, basically, that I had to deal with and work through forgiveness issues, basically. My body had started to release and open and I wasn't holding on to tension and my blood pressure lowered. All of these things when I let go of being angry about the path, it took the body and the mind. I know a lot of people were doing coaching and mindset work and in therapy, and I'm all valuable. However, without the body piece, and even like Tony Robbins talks about this, to get into a resourceful state as an entrepreneur, you have got to get the mind and the body, you have to get the body into it. My whole work in the world is to teach people how to shift the physical form through mind through thoughts. It's really bringing the mind into the whole body, your mind is in your pinky toe to what's your pinky toe saying? If we listen to something that has pinky toes, alive or not, that means there's full awareness or not a periphery awareness or not, you're missing out on opportunities, left and right. If you don't know what your pinky toes are doing. You need to build sensitivity in the tips of your pinky toe strands. I could go on and on in every part of your body. It's my juicy work in the world. The mind and the body are the same thing. They're connected. It's just where the soul resides. As an entrepreneur. I started working with business owners because they were the most open to this idea. If we get our mind set and our physical form, into a state.

Lila Veronica  9:57  

energy, state, physical form and movement have the alignment, everything to what we want to become, even if we're not there yet, we become it. It's the law of attraction or manifestation and all this stuff, it's the body piece that most people are missing, you have to feel the feelings of what it is in the future before it's before we're even there. Then you attract it faster, you've spent some time there. What I recognize is, I can't think my way into happiness anymore, I can think my way into working. You only get so far if you work or be if you're a happy being. Sky's the limit, there's no limit, it's infinite potential, you have to bring joy to the world. I had to bring my joy at the highest form to the world, if I was really going to transform the world. I have this saved the world complex that I'm still recovering from, you can tell from my shoulders, it's like heavy shoulders, I feel like the weight of the world on my shoulders, it's my job to save the world. It's not my friend. It's not what it is. It's my job to be my best, joyous, brightest self at all moments, and then teach others how and that's exactly what I do. One of the ways of smiling, we talked about, by the way, I have all sorts of other ways. That's what I do in the world, I'm really good at helping people make money, I'll just be honest, anybody who has ever hung out with me other than my clients or anything, they always make more money. Here's what it is. My strategy is easy, we can cover that in a really short period of time. It's the embodiment and owning the value piece that most people miss when we're trying to implement strategy. That is the work that I do in the world, some strategy, we need that, helping people and own their value embody what that means.

Robert Peterson  12:00  

So good. Value is so underrated. I value getting beat up, right from birth, right from, the things our parents tell us, the things our teachers tell us, the things we grade and evaluate, as soon as we start evaluating, coming home with a report card that says, your value is this and this and this. Our value just starts getting dinged, ding, ding, ding, ding, and all around us. That's why I mean, add value is about encouraging one another, building each other up, discovering your true value that all of us were created with this innate value. It's everybody. Everybody has it, it's this thing inside you that you have no idea is in there. Women especially and this is simply the situation that our world has created. Women especially, have been devalued. That they get paid less they've been put in positions of less power they've been put in positions where they have less voice, and then put in positions where they have less control. You and I are on the same page in wanting to lift up and create environments where that value is released. That value gets to come out and in an exercise its voice and exercise its power and its influence and impact. I believe, when we put women at the table, and we give them the voice that they have great and amazing things to say and great and amazing impact to make in the world.

Lila Veronica  13:54  

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yes. I would love to give some women out there to listen to some ideas. This is an empowerment moment. We know some women rise and some don't.

Lila Veronica  14:17  

What if we could learn from those women? What if we could also learn from men? I believe that we're all in this together. Although women have been suppressed, they have also suppressed themselves and one another. 

Lila Veronica  14:40  

We will all see in the hen house. Ladies this is all I know at this point in my life is personal accountability. I've got nothing else. I've already made mistakes and had pain. I've had success and had pleasure. What do I want? It's up to me if that's it. realize that a number of years ago I was like, this is up to me if I'm gonna be the only person in common with all my problems is me.

Robert Peterson  15:11  

That's huge. I don't want to let that go by because so many people want to blame everything on everybody else. It's easy to play the victim. The people and you mentioned it earlier that the reason you started working with entrepreneurs is because they're open to the idea of the possibility that this could work. They want to be hungry. 

Lila Veronica  15:36  

That people come to me when they've tried everything else. They tried all the strategies. They tried all the mindset, they tried all the spiritual stuff even if you got the energy healer, the shaman and the sparkle it still ain't working. You value yourself, no. If you're not valuing yourself, nobody else would value it for like a hot minute. Then they're like, Oh, my God, I just sold all my, a little does and I'm like, yo, girl, get it? I'm gonna give you a little bit of this insight around the bot all images, I'm gonna link the body and this whole glass ceiling with women in leadership. That'd be okay.

Robert Peterson  16:16  

Absolutely.

Lila Veronica  16:18  

There's a couple things, there's one particular thing that I want to share that is really important is this fight or flight chemicals. Adrenaline, and the cortisol, and all of the other slew of stress chemicals that come into the body. It's a cocktail of how we drug ourselves when we're in fight or flight, we all know that. Here's the deal, biologically in the woman's physical form. When we trigger and we release those chemicals, adrenaline and so forth, it takes up to 24 hours in the woman's body to dissipate. Up to nine hours in demand. I want to give a shout out to all women who are in a stressful situation and you're not reaching the top. It may be because people don't trust you. Simply because they don't understand why it's animalistic. If something's in fight or flight, and they're scared, even if something happened last night with your kid triggered you screamed, and it just got kids screaming, startled you. Nothing bad happened. Then you get triggered and then your fight or flight, you're a little off, you didn't sleep right, or you're up in the middle of night or whatever. Those people who are supposed to promote you because of all your accolades. Somehow, some people don't trust your emotions. They might trust the man because he's already out of it. He slept it off.

Robert Peterson  17:45  

We're gonna dig here a little bit just because I feel most people think of their fight or flight when the neighbor's dog is chasing after them. That's the obvious fight or flight. Recognizing that the anxiety and stress that most Americans are experiencing in their lives, the brain recognizes is exactly the same as that dog chasing after you trying to bite you on the ankle. We spend so much time in fight or flight. Then we watch the news. It creates this anxiety that just adds to that fight or flight. That you talked about in a woman's body, it takes 24 hours for those chemicals fight or flight adrenaline and cortisol to dissipate. We keep reading, we reinvigorate, we add back to it with all of this life going on around us that people are living in anxiety and stress. They're dumping these chemicals into their body that's causing depression and fear and they don't realize that it's fight and flight chemicals that are making their body feel funky and yucky. Now its mission is off.

Lila Veronica  19:01  

Literally it's constant. Cognition is off, test scores go down, performance goes down, time gets wasted because they get in the monkey mind hamster wheel that's just fight or flight chemicals.

Robert Peterson  19:14  

They feel like crap. That's the piece that they don't get.

Lila Veronica  19:17  

They get sick and the immune system goes down. Good thing, they're grumpy. They're not the best co worker, boss manager, they don't innovate. You can't innovate when you're in a healing state.

Robert Peterson  19:30  

Let's talk about the brain a little bit and the fact that obviously, the evolution of the brain was designed for temporary short bursts. Fight or flight is something that's designed to save us in an emergency. It's a good thing when it's used correctly. The problem is that our brain doesn't handle this information overload that people are experiencing and this is the level of anxiety and stress that people are putting on themselves. This personal pressure to compete with the world around them is keeping these wrong chemicals shooting through your body. Then we go to the doctor and we say I'm depressed, I don't feel good. I don't feel right. We're medicating on top of these adrenaline and cortisol. Now we're medicating to flatten the curve. I don't want to feel this. The problem is that it pulls the bottom up. It also pulls the top down. I'm not telling you not to take antidepressants. I'm not telling you to change that yet in your life if you're listening, I want you to understand what's happening, and ask more questions. We need to ask more questions, especially when we're asking for help to get to feel different. You mentioned earlier, I have some solutions. I know what you mentioned earlier: the dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin and the endorphins that we experience in joy that we experience when we smile that we experience when our body feels its very best. That's the place that so many people are missing.

Lila Veronica  21:18  

Yes. Here's something that you're not gonna see out there a lot. There's science that backs this up.This is my friend Al Engels, who created the pressure free method. This is something that I found in 2017. I teach it, I've shared it a ton. It's helped a lot of people for me in business, I'm gonna share this related to business. I started my business in 2014. It was about three years into my business. When I met Elle angles, we were in a mastermind together. I'm so grateful. She's my accountability partner, we talk five days a week in the mornings we have for him five years now. 7:30am my time used to be seven but we made it a half hour instead. We've done retreats together and conferences and all sorts of stuff together, and she's learned that my movement system has totally changed her body and life. Phenomenal. She taught me her system of how not to and I'll teach you right now, how to not release the stress chemicals into your body and get stress hormones that are getting everybody all sticky. Feeling grody. It's when I met her, I was doing a lot of my business, I was pretty much everything. I didn't have a team yet. I hadn't hired anybody. I was just crying on the kitchen floor on the bathroom floor in the bedroom floor outside on the ground. I just cry on the ground. For some reason. When I get stressed. At the end of the day, I just like to let it all go and hold it at work all day and then cry at the end of the day, like this is so hard. I met her and I learned about her system. It actually took me six months on my first full day without triggering stress hormones, six months of practice. I just want to say: Be gentle on yourself. If you choose to do this. Here's the deal. There's a 10 second window between the time you're triggered. Loud noise you think something you're scared about your health or money or something about a person and relationships on problem. challenge in your life. Whatever is going on this trigger are loud noise something, a smell something you've seen your house, a dirty corner that hasn't been cleaned in a minute is getting on your nerves, anything that's triggering you getting between the time that trigger happens and your body, if that heart rate goes up and your body releases, then adrenaline, and so on and all the chemicals thereafter, there's an opportunity to shift your state. I'll give you some tools in a second. Shift your state so that you don't really step so that you can know your triggers. You have to do some physical movement. One thing you can do is smile. Soften your belly button and breathe. Smile a little soft because if you're in fight or flight, your belly button tightens all this whole tight belly button thing we've been told to have a six pack abs stomach. Soften your belly button away from your spine, relax your belly. Open your jaw, breath, smile, you can't be running from a tiger. If you're smiling, smile, oh, soft belly. Then I always recommend, open your arms up, you can lift your arms up over your head. You're winning a race, you can say something really positive. For example, maybe something like time for women is a big stressor. research around this time. You might be like I don't have time. Let's pause for a moment because you got it the same amount of times everybody else in this room. You put all your arms out, you smile, soft belly, aren't I say I have all the time in the world, because in that moment you do. There's these little tools you can use and it's really about mind-body connection. I'm gonna give you an example, I went to Michigan a couple years ago to host a retreat with my friend out the becoming superhuman retreat, we believe people can become very much of a superhuman if they can get rid of fight or flight, and know that they deserve a beautiful life, and whatever that means to them. That's superhuman. I went with a great retreat, I'm leaving at the airport. I'm checking in, going to the security, taking off my shoes, pulling out your laptop, no matter. I hear my mind go. Oh, crap. My inner voice. What do I do I had just left this retreat, teaching this stuff and sharing this stuff and learning more and all of this and it really playing with

Lila Veronica  26:09  

presence, awareness, softening, staying in, my highest being for tests. Oh, crap. I was triggered so then I immediately saw my belly smile, and put my arms up. I'm like dancin, some lady looks at me, I go, I'm saving myself from stress chemicals. I'm saving myself from stress. I didn't care. I cared about myself, I did not want to get on the airplane. In that part of fleets, I felt I deserved to feel better than everybody around me deserves to feel. So good. Great. Women can take charge of their feelings, state IT people, women often find me to be very grounded. It's because I'm not elevated in the fight or flight state. It is in my body. I believe the women have more power than they give themselves credit for. Yes, the systems. There's some system issues. Absolutely. I've studied systems over the years and I've tried to break the systems and change the systems and policies and everything. It's exhausting. I believe that as women, we can choose our own state and shift it by the way we show up in the seat, we can break the glass ceiling by becoming fully present. In our fullest brightness instead of in fight or flight. I really do believe that

Robert Peterson  27:37  

Ultimately that all applies to men too.

Lila Veronica  27:40  

Men have all the power. Absolutely. 

Robert Peterson  27:44  

You mentioned the chemical advantage that men have had is that their body processes those fight and flight chemicals faster. They're out of it, and they're out of it more naturally. Even if they keep putting themselves back into it. They're getting bigger gaps. Women aren't getting those bigger gaps because of the stressors and the positions that they've kept themselves in. They keep repeating the negative chemicals, rather than finding more ground. Not only am I more grounded, but I've also experienced more joy and peace and love. I'm living in the positive chemicals that my body's designed to experience more. More often you can't overdose on those chemicals just to be clear, your body doesn't go yuck if you get too much dopamine, oxytocin and those endorphins, our body loves those in it, and they feel really good. Why not get more of those in you instead of that adrenaline and cortisol that just causes your body to be good because your body will be right back after this short break. fight or flight is a real thing fight flight or freeze is survival it's in yet we're using it our brain is using it now in non survival situations, but the brain doesn't know the difference until you tell it and I love that you're saying no, tell the body tell the brain something different when that trigger of Oh, that stupid mud is still sitting in that corner over there. Why? And that irritation? You have a choice. This is one of my favorite quotes of all time from Viktor Frankl and,, he identified this, in Auschwitz in a concentration camp, studying his compatriots, and why some people were living while other people were giving up and dying. He recognized that between stimulus and response, there's a space. In that space, you have the power to choose. In his case, it was life and death. The people around him were choosing the negative response, the lack of control, the lack of power, the lack of hope. They were dying. Those who chose differently those who chose to say, No, I'm not going to let this terrible, heinous situation stop me from believing that there's better than there's hope that there's a good life. We each have that same power in our lives. We get to choose and in giving yourself permission to choose is where the power is.

Lila Veronica  31:31  

You deserve it. That's the thing. I believe, it's subconsciously programmed into us that somebody along the way told us we didn't deserve it, whether it be reached for somebody and said, Don't do that. For somebody along the way. It doesn't matter if the bad grade or the cousin or the person on the playground, or the parents or whomever it was, who somehow thought we don't deserve something. We like to believe we deserve it. Then this is how I'm passionately expressive about this. It's physical movement. If we want to change the brain, if we want to change the reprogramming of the experience, we have to move the physical form along with the mind. It's how the whole thing's reprogrammed, and we all know it because we think about somebody who walks in a room. That person walks in a room and everybody looks. You don't know why even if they're behind you, for some reason, feel on. That's what I want for everybody. That's when we're not in the head when we're fully in that body. Open. easeful.

Robert Peterson  32:43  

We've talked a lot about the chemicals. That brings up the idea of the energy, let's talk about the energy of our mind and body communicating. Napoleon Hill called it a sending and receiving unit that we're putting, we're putting our vibration out into the world. When we have conversations when we walk into a room, and too many people walk into a room disempowered. Even online, even this conversation you and I are having our energy exchanging our energy is we're feeding each other's energy and feeling each other's energy and experiencing each other's energy. A lot of people, it's easy to say, that's just woowoo, woowoo magic stuff. It's very, very real. It very, much impacts the sales conversation, it very much impacts the business conversation. How you're received when you show up in the room.

Lila Veronica  33:49  

It's about the person that was walking their energy. It's either in their full power or not, is basically are they in their head? Are they just thinking? They're not in themselves? Some, they've lost their power if they're just thinking, for example, if they're wondering what people were thinking about them as they walk in how they look, if that whole judgment piece, it's all judgment. If they're just in their body, and they're really mindful about how they're walking, what are their feet doing? What are the legs doing? What are their hips doing? What is their back, the full body is walking together, and not slumped over or angled weirdly because they're thinking, pensive in the face, all of that stuff is kind of lost in their head, blah, blah, blah. All of that loses their power and they're not as noticed. You can see there's some people you might have met like 100 times and you need to see them because they're so in their head, you just miss them. You don't feel their energy. It's dead. Almost because it's all thought, judgment, judgment, judgment, worry, worry worry. The person who's just cool, they almost float through space. It's because they're in their body. People always say to me, after I speak, I love your energy. I'd love for them to say I love your content. I love your stories, or I've worked really hard on my speech. I am always a former academic, my slides, my speech, my presentation, everything. It's never any of it. It's always, Man, I love your energy. That's just who I am. I don't even care what I say. I could go up there, and say Mecca, a hi Mecca, honey, oh, and they wouldn't even care. That's what I can integrate with people. It's the energy. It's simply because I practice as an intellectual woman. As a former academic, I have to practice otherwise, I'll be away from my head. When I practice, and I breathe, and I move with the mindfulness for space, people just pick up on an energy, it's because I'm fully in my body. I'm not with everybody else. I'm with myself.

Robert Peterson  36:18  

Let's talk about that. There's two areas of awareness that I want. You mentioned the triggers, helping people? How can people be more aware of their triggers?

Lila Veronica  36:31  

There's a couple of things I would say. The way we first start this is we look at what my friend has this system set up as targets, triggers tools, target first, you need to know why you want this are you? I'll give you an example. Are you triggering and not being kind to somebody in your life? A loved one, that happens? Are you triggering and not being able to be productive? In your business? Or something? Are you triggering that you can't ask for the money in the sales conversation? Are you triggered and can't show up for the videos? What is it that you want is we need a target first. If we don't have a vision, if we have no goal, it doesn't matter what you're turning, you're just gonna keep doing it, there's no excuse. You're gonna keep making excuses. That's just who I am, or those people did it or so instead of say, for me, I'll give you an example. I love to feel good. I care enough about my physical form, my body, my health, is my highest value in life, my physical health, I know health as if I just take care of myself, whatever I do will work. Whatever work I do will work if I just take it, but I'll take care of myself. Powerful. That's pretty much my wisdom there that I can share.

Robert Peterson  37:54  

You mentioned triggers, though, and helping somebody that I identify with lashing out at my kids. Perfect, I identify with that idea that, recognizing that my anger towards my kids had more to do with what I'm thinking about me or what I'm thinking about. It makes me look like a parent, then what? I care about their behavior.

Lila Veronica  38:25  

Is it something they do? Then it triggers and then they lash out? Are you already in it? Then you've got something else going on? Maybe they got and they just kind of aggravated?

Robert Peterson  38:35  

I would say it was that reactionary?

Lila Veronica  38:40  

That makes sense. Totally. It's in that moment, like you said, you have a choice. Ideally, what you want to do is save yourself first, put on the mask first. You want to when that happens, I would smile. Soften your belly open, your arms bounced up and down. Imagine you put them on a Ferris we'll give them a little ride around, they'll come back around. Let it go just for a moment. Give yourself that like a 10 second window. See if you can get yourself to a point where you're not triggered by adrenaline and then usually whatever comes out of your mouth is wisdom. It's fatherly wisdom, versus judgment. Even if it's a simple job, and we have to teach children. I'm not saying don't teach your children things. There's more choices, more options in that 10 seconds if you're not triggering fight or flight that might become like stoic wisdom. 

Robert Peterson  39:43  

Where am I? My challenge and my kids are adults now. I survived it, I could have done better and I recognize now it's me. Obviously, we can look back and recognize Oh, yeah. Home was always supposed to be a safe space. My wife and I committed to, I'd rather deal with the truth at home? Walk you through the consequences. I can't take away consequences for bad choices. I promise you won't be alone. We did that. The challenge was in that moment when we found out what the situation was, and I was not very good at the Oh, shit. In any judgment, make that statement. What the heck is wrong with you? How are you, how could you do that? Then I was able to step back and say, Okay, wait, I'm sorry. I was wrong. I already know, the damage is done. 

Lila Veronica  40:50  

There's a lot to be said about making a mistake and saying,

Robert Peterson  40:55  

oh, no, absolutely.

Lila Veronica  40:58  

There's a lot of parents that don't do that. They might not apologize. 

Robert Peterson  41:04  

I'm a total screw up most of the time. I have no problem telling my kids to look, I made a mistake. That's part of life. Making mistakes, and moving on is like, Hey, I'm gonna, there's no manual. There's no book for how to be a parent, I combined what my dad did, and my mom did. My wife's parents did, and we figured out, there was no training, there was no academic side for parenting. That's how a lot of stuff getting screwed up is because we're just passing on our problems onto our kids. What does scripture say that the sins pass on? That's how the sins get passed on, if we don't make these shifts in ourselves. It's hard to recognize when you're triggered. It's hard to have that awareness, but to be aware of your thoughts. Your reaction allows you that space. Most people feel like they don't have control in that space. It's hard to have control in that space when you live in judgment. Letting go of judgment, allows you to have space to evaluate even yourself. We're our worst critics. If I'm judging anybody, I'm judging this guy more than anything else. Letting go of judgment.

Lila Veronica  42:29  

It's huge. What I would offer you is, I bet you know, this well. The coaching container is a beautiful space, whether it be you have a coach, or you have a mentor, you have a colleague, a friend, or family member, but somebody who can hold a really unconditional loving space, you can trust on. Judgment free. I believe that all entrepreneurs need that. You said, You're gonna judge yourself, there's gonna make mistakes, you're gonna make mistakes, you're gonna mess up all of the things. You don't, it doesn't have to hurt. When and you may not even fall down as hard if somebody is holding the light. There are other people who have been through it. I would offer, I know, with my clients before they've come to me, usually, they've tried to do it alone, and it hasn't worked. Just like me, I'm quite the resistant bull, I can figure it out. Okay, a couple years in figuring it out, I'm gonna get some help. If I were to look back and tell my younger self anything, it would be, get a mentor, have a mentor forever, I don't care what it looks like somebody older than you that knows more than can tell you something to do, you do it and it works.

Robert Peterson  43:58  

What you mentioned, entrepreneurs were the ones that are the most open minded, but they're also the ones that are the most independent spirit that says, I got this or I should have this. That's the judgment. I should be able to figure this out. I should be able to get this and so that openness to growth. They're really into personal growth. At the same time, asking for help feels like a weakness almost to their entrepreneurial mind. I agree with you that it's necessary.

Lila Veronica  44:35  

We really only grow when we're witnessed.

Robert Peterson  44:39  

Wow

Robert Peterson  44:51  

Truth bomb

Lila Veronica  44:54  

I learned a few things along the way. That's all next year's wisdom I've already learned and it's why the work that I do, it's so valuable. I'm humbled all the time because people come to me and I give them the ideas that I give to the same people over and over and over and over and over. It works. They're so grateful. To me, it's just the normal, the natural thing that I live in and learned and implemented works. It's humbling to share. It's humbling to learn. As my friend Elon, I actually talked about this, we are recovering. Know it all. Oh, so I know a lot. A lot of people who know a lot know it all. The more you learn, the more you realize you don't know you hear this, but it's true. I love you recently had Robert Allen, a phenomenally successful man. One of the things he said in there was my favorite thing I've heard in the podcast for I don't know how long.

Lila Veronica  46:05  

No matter what level you're at, you need a mentor. You need to humble yourself, you need to realize you don't know anything.I was like, Oh, thank you. There's times where I feel really smart. It gets in the way. There's times I feel really not smart. I win. so I'm like, what if I just knew nothing every day. He really opened up to me, I have mentors, and I have all of that, I love that drive that they helped me with. Hearing somebody who is such a high level mentor and successful person over the years still be in that zone, really fired me up. I appreciate that episode.

Robert Peterson  46:46  

As a coach, obviously, I believe in coaching. If I believe in coaching, and I don't have a coach, then I'm a little bit of a hypocrite. In the idea, I love the Chinese proverb, or I love talking about we're all stuck in this box, and the instructions to get out of the box are on the outside. If you don't get somebody to look at it from the outside and call you on your crap, that's really what it is. The best coaches are the ones that call you on your crap. You're telling yourself a story that you're convinced that a little note is all in us, I got this, I'm smarter than you and the coach is going to come along and say, it doesn't make any sense. It gets that awareness, that the ability to see that from the outside. A coach can go, that's bullshit. Call you on it. It makes you gain that much faster. A mentor who's been down the path before, has that wisdom that they can just share in whichever area you need it in. The most successful people in this world, not just have one coach, they have multiple coaches. I got a fitness coach, a body coach and a diet coach, a mindset coach, and got all of these things going on. I need that influence. What do they help you do? Their accelerators?

Lila Veronica  48:20  

Absolutely. Anybody who works with me knows they're gonna get fired up and momentum on Betty. There is no slowing down with this one. I've said no to many people, you ain't ready, girl. You gotta be ready to rock and roll. You can't be a seven out of 10 here. You gotta be 11 out of 10 to work with this one. Without mentors, my body wouldn't be healthy. I still have amazing health coaches that I work with consistently to elevate because as I get older, hormones change, body changes, everything changes. I want to know, for myself, but I also want to know, for my clients, how can I best serve my women in their bodies? They come to me because I work with a lot of smart women that just struggle in the body piece. It's just they haven't focused on it. We were taught as young kids to get smart, not get healthy. No, it was like eating a microwave burrito and studying calculus, ramen, ramen, and get an A in physics like, Okay, that's cool. How's that gonna work out if I'm dead at 50? I've had to really rewire myself and I still have to use his time. I know that I spend about four hours a day on my health, beyond sleeping. To be my maximum optimal health, that means stretching in good food preparation, and a bath and all the things that I like to put together for my health, it's four hours a day. Now I get to do that because I have an online business where I work from home, I get to create my own schedule, I have this great lifestyle. I built it over time, it didn't happen right away. I always say if anybody even wants to elevate themselves, just put 10 minutes in a day, seven minutes, like, you'll get results if you do it consistently.

Robert Peterson  50:38  

Let's dig into that idea that the ability to design the life that you want, and then build a business to support it.

Lila Veronica  50:49  

Number one, it comes back to you having to believe you deserve it one more time. If you think if you waffle, I don't know if he's gonna work back and forth. It's not gonna work. You gotta be all in, no matter what kind of person, come hell or high water, burn the boats, whatever you want to say you have to be, no matter what. The way to do that is really to get the vision. Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this? For me? Honestly, I want things for my life. Yes, I can tell you about the things I want for myself. What I also want for others is I want others to feel good, like I do. I woke up, jazzed. jazzed. I have a great life, great schedule, I'm healthy, have a great business, I've got a great relationship, I just believe that people can get there. If I don't share it, it would be selfish of me to be honest. It would be an injustice even for me to keep this information back. We'll be rude. It's not fair. wouldn't be fair. I'm a teacher, I'm a farmer. You know, I've always been teaching stuff my whole life. This is a big part of why I wake up, I know how to feel good. If I don't feel good, I know how to shift it. I knew what happened, the trigger stuff we just talked about. I can be gentle on myself and let it pass

Robert Peterson  52:27  

Love the self care love the self worth side of it. How gratitude helps your self worth.

Lila Veronica  52:38  

Natural order of the world where we put our energy and where we put our attention, energy goes. We know that if you start putting your attention on, I say soften your left shoulder blade. You put your mind on your left shoulder blade, you soften it up, oh, it was all of a sudden relaxed a little bit, what? Energy just went there. We could do all sorts of stuff, you're sitting at a restaurant and start to stare at somebody, they'll start to turn around. Why do you just put energy to everyone's attention when you start thinking about ECRC soup everywhere. Gratitude is all we're doing, we're focusing on the things that make us feel good. What makes you feel good? What do you want? The more things you focus on that you want, which are usually things you already know, it feels like maybe you're grateful for your loved ones. That's really the feeling state that they give you. I feel good around my loved ones. When you're going to attract other people that are pretty loving, what is it? They do, they're just people, they're going to make you feel good, you're going to naturally attract people that are gonna make you feel good if you're more in that state. If you're in a crappy state, you attract crappy people, you're wondering why people bring a crappy mood. Check yourself before you wreck yourself, your energy is bad for your health. Gratitude is from even just a physics level focusing on that which we want to feel more and that's helped my energy, my business, my relationships, everything there's a moment of choice, you can get annoyed or you can get triggered. Father you can get whatever sad, depressed, irritated, annoyed, ashamed, anger, any of that stuff. There's a choice. Do you focus on that? Or do you focus on what you enjoy more? Music for example, is a good way for me to, if I'm feeling I'll turn on music and dance around. I always loved music and dancing around it makes me feel good. Then all of a sudden, our problems or help somebody else. I'm grateful for being able to help people come to me. They always have, they always will. Somehow somewhere even has this word of wisdom. If I help other people, I don't have any problems. All of a sudden I feel good. I'm grateful for that person at that time. I would say I had a big awakening. I don't talk about this a lot. I basically went from asleep to awake and so people don't have or like reborn or awakening and all that. I fully get it. I was a full intellectual Ashes to ashes, dirt, then I awoke. I never heard one single thought of my own until I heard one. Then I heard, no,, Whoa. When I learned about gratitude, it was really easy for me to see that I didn't live in it. Then I did. It was just because I had such a differential of experience of the world. A went from clouds to Sunshine. Gratitude, honestly, has been easier for me, it makes me feel very emotional. It's been easier for me because I've had such a contrast. It was like storms and the beach of awesomeness forever. it's hard to explain, but I know everybody doesn't have that. It happened through me being physically in my body over a period of time that I woke into my mind, then I woke into the light in the dark. Then I was grateful. I didn't know about gratitude, honestly, until I knew, and then when I knew I was able to live in it more than I practiced. I get down. If I get down or out or something stresses me, I just look at what is the exact opposite and same moment. If I'm worried about something, I'm around business, what am I grateful for about business at that moment, it's always there. It's just a practice at this point, most of the time, it's easy to live there, I've had this big differential in my life. I said, I don't talk about a lot. It's a big part of the gratitude piece. 

Robert Peterson  57:13  

So powerful. What's your big dream?

Lila Veronica  57:21  

My big dream is to have more people in this world, walking around, enjoying it. I know it's possible. It's beautiful. Everybody deserves that we were born in that way and why lots of other things happen to people. Take that away. I believe it's just a natural state, a primal state. Joy's a primal state, and I'm here to live it, be it. Show up that way as much as I can. Teach others how.

Robert Peterson  58:01  

You spent an hour with one of them young entrepreneurs, you will leave them with Lila's words of wisdom. What would you share?

Lila Veronica  58:09  

Keep reading friends, keep breathing, keep breathing. Keep going. You deserve it.

Robert Peterson  58:17  

Lila, thank you so much for joining me today. What a fantastic conversation. I appreciate your authenticity and your heart and vulnerability and of course your wisdom and the impact that you're having. Appreciate it and keep smiling.