Lynda Sunshine West

and Robert talk about fear and how she spent an entire year facing a new fear each day. She wrote her story and now empowers others to write their stories and hope to help 5 million people write their stories.

A little bit about Lynda...

Lynda Sunshine West is the Founder and CEO of Action Takers Publishing, a Speaker, 17 Times #1 International Bestselling and Award-Winning Author, Executive Film Producer, and Red Carpet Interviewer. 

If you're ready to become a bestselling author, but don't know where to start, let's hop on a complimentary call where I will give you some guidance. 

Click this link to schedule a time on my calendar:

Check out more of Lynda

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Amazon Author Page: /Lynda-Sunshine-West/e/

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Lynda Sunshine West
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Show Notes

Robert Peterson 0:17
Welcome to the add value to entrepreneurs podcast, the place where we help entrepreneurs to not hate their boss. Our mission is to end entrepreneurial unhappiness. If you dream of changing the world, but you're not sure where to start. The Add value entrepreneurs podcast will help you transform your life in business. This podcast is for entrepreneurs who want more freedom and fulfillment from their work so they can live the life that they desire. You deserve it, and it is possible. My name is Robert Peterson, Farmer passer turned CEO and the smiling coach. I believe that success without happiness is failing. But there is hope. Join us each week as we bring you an inspiring leader or message to help you. Thanks for investing time with us today. This week's guest ran away at five years old and was gone for an entire week. She came home riddled with fears and in turn became a people pleaser. At age 51, she decided to face one fear every day for an entire year. In doing so she gained an exorbitant amount of confidence, and now uses what she learned to help fill her mission of empowering 5 million women and men to write their stories. Linda sunshine West is the founder and CEO of action takers publishing, a speaker, international best selling and award winning author, executive film producer and a red carpet interviewer Linda sunshine West and Robert talk about fear and how she spent an entire year facing a new fear each day. She wrote her story and now empowers others to write their stories and hopes to help 5 million people write their story. If you're an entrepreneur who started their business with a purpose and a passion that has been lost in the busyness of the daily grind, we get it. That is why we've opened up our free strategy calls. A lot of entrepreneurs probably including you just want a sense of clarity on the barriers holding them back that you need to overcome in order to accelerate your growth and achieve your dreams. These short 30 Minute Calls give you a chance to work with one of our coaches without any commitment or pressure. Scheduling is easy, just go to smiling Let's jump on a call and get you the help and clarity you need. Select a time and let's build your business. It's time for you to add value. Well, Linda, thank you so much for joining me today. And I'm excited to learn more about your journey and share it with our audience.

Unknown Speaker 2:45
Thanks so much for having me. I'm excited to be here. And I can't wait to see where this goes. Because you're the smiling coach and I see you smiling over there. And it's very infectious by the way.

Robert Peterson 2:55
That's good. That's the way it's supposed to be. So we just let our guests start with their own entrepreneurial journey and their own vision and how they're impacting the world. So if you share,

Unknown Speaker 3:07
okay, thank you so much for having me, you know, that journey of entrepreneurship. First of all, when I first started as an entrepreneur, I had no idea what I was going to do, who was going to serve how I was going to make any money. And it has been an up and down twist, turn the backwards forwards journey, to say the least. And it's been worth every single day of it. You know, I spent 36 years in the corporate world. And of those 36 years, I had 49 jobs. Wow. When I got Yeah, before I counted them, I had to count them because I was speaking at an event one day and I was going to be talking about my jobs. I was like, I should tell them how many because it's quite a bit, you know. And that last job I had was working for a judge in the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals. I had been a legal secretary for 20 years, and worked my way up to working for that judge. And after like 14 months, I was like, Oh my gosh, this is so boring. It was just so boring. I just couldn't do it anymore. You know, you get to that point, you're like, you just can't do it another day. And I ended up meeting a life coach, and she really helped me through, you know, discovering of like, who I am, the values that I have to offer and, and all this stuff. And at the end of the time working with her, I was like, I'm going to quit and I'm going to become an entrepreneur. I'm just going to do it. So I started that journey. And that was back in 2014. Well, January 5, so January 1 of 2015. After having worked with my life coach, I woke up that morning and I said I have so many fears. I'm going to break through a fear every day this year and just see what happens. It really was but why did that come up? I have no idea. But it did and I did that Every day for a year, the first thing I would do when I woke up in the morning is ask myself a question, what scares me? And then I would lay in bed and I would wait until the answer came, whatever the first fear was that popped up was the fear. I was going to face that that day, I had to face it that day. And I'd like to say like, I don't set new year's resolutions, because I break them every single time like I I don't, I've never met anybody who has actually gone through their New Year's resolutions. But I made a New Year's commitment. And that commitment was to break through a fair every day. Well, that was when I started my entrepreneurial journey. And that was when everything really started unfolding. So the biggest challenges that I had, at the very beginning that I didn't know, were challenges, because I was so dough wide, you know, just going into this totally blinded, and was that I had an issue with money, asking for money. It came time for me to make an offer to somebody, I would offer it, but then I would say it was free. I just had a really big challenge with money. That was one of my biggest mindset issues that I had to work on. And as I'm going through this journey, though, the very first thing I did, I'll share this one because the very first thing I did was to decide I was going to hold a food festival. Now I had hosted many events prior to that time, but I never held anything big. You know, it was like 20 people, maybe 50 people, but never anything big. And I hosted this food festival called lemon zest and garlic fest. Great name, right. This fun name sounds yummy. Well, at the end of the day, I ended up losing $70,000 Ouch. From that. Yeah, from one event. But I didn't quit. Good. I didn't give up. I was like, What did I do wrong? What do I need to fix? What did I do? Great. And keep doing that. So the next event, hopefully, I won't lose that money. Hopefully I'll make money. That was the goal. So the next event I did was called the berry best chocolate fest?

Robert Peterson 7:06
Well, I think chocolate sounds much better than lemon. So it had to be a profit like it had been.

Unknown Speaker 7:11
Well, it did do better. Yes, I had a 700% increase in my losses. Yeah, so I only lost 10,070 rates in the way we weren't it right. It's like, I didn't lose money. I gained the 700%. Yeah, so that that was my next event. But then I realized that events really weren't what I wanted to do as my business. And anyway, I, I've tried so many different things in business, until I hit on book publishing. And I was in a collaboration book. And then I ended up writing my own book. And I asked myself a question, which is a question I asked myself frequently now is, what's my next natural state of progression? I was in a collaboration book, I wrote my own book, I'm going to start putting together my own collaboration books. So I started doing that for fun, and wasn't making hardly any money at it at all. But then, about four years later, I launched two books, eight days apart. And both of them hit number one international bestseller status in under five hours. Wow. Yeah. So at the end of the day, I looked at that, and I said, Wow, this is awesome. I love this. I know what I'm doing. And I am damn good at it. This is what I'm going to do book publishing. And the next day, have somebody called me out of the blue and said, I'm working on two books, and I was wondering if you would publish them for me. So I felt like you'll go God sent me the message saying, this is right, you're on the right path, I'm even going to send you people. And that's that's what really got me into what I'm doing today. So the book publishing is all I do. And I absolutely love this work. I love helping people to share their stories with the world to make a greater impact on the planet. So that's the kind of the Genesis story here.

Robert Peterson 9:01
I love it. I think obviously sharing stories is is so powerful. And and you've got a pretty big mission.

Unknown Speaker 9:09
Yes, yes. And it's funny that how the mission came about is my mission is to empower 5 million women and men to share their stories with the world to make a greater impact on the planet. Originally, somebody asked me you need to set a SMART goal right? When he goes Specific, Measurable, Achievable, relatable and time down. So I set the goal of was 50,000 I'm going to do 50,000 And then Grant Cardone I heard him in my head, and he said 10x that Linda 10x that so I did but I accidentally 100x to up to 5 million. My mouth was off. So I said, Okay, that's the number.

Robert Peterson 9:56
Darren zeros. I love it. I know I know that So, obviously, yeah, sharing their stories is incredible. And so growing, growing your business and, and the value of, of connection. And obviously you started out in a collaboration, which I think is a natural connection. And then you started out making a couple collaborations before you decided to your natural, next natural progression was to publish into to be a publisher. So how have connections served you? How do you encourage others, or at least your authors to grow connections to share these stories to share these messages to have larger impact?

Unknown Speaker 10:46
Now, I love this question, because connection isn't something that I really related to much until I became an entrepreneur. And I had to actually be taught how to connect with people. See, I grew up in a very volatile, abusive, alcoholic household. And when I was five years old, I ran away, and I was gone for a whole week. Wow. Now, I just went to the neighbor's house, so I was safe. But when I came home, I came home riddled with fears from my dad. And then I ended up becoming a people pleaser. Well through that, like I lived in this little tunnel, you know, I was too scared to talk to people, too scared to have conversations, connection was definitely not something that I was into. And I learned that through the entrepreneurial journey. And I remember when, when I became an entrepreneur, I was attending an event. And there were a bunch of women there. And I was scared of women. By the way, I was scared of women, because they just intimidated the crap out of me. And so I was attending this event. And these women were all chatting and talking about their businesses, and they were all asking each other, how they could help them how they could help them. I wasn't accustomed to that. Because in the corporate world, it's not typically that way. It's more like, How can I step on you to get ahead, right. And so I wasn't accustomed to that. And when I saw that, I was like, wow, this is awesome. These women actually want to help. Maybe I can learn something from them. So I started kind of observing how do people communicate with each other? How do they talk to each other? And then when I broke through those fears every day, you know, the greatest fear I had was the fear of judgment. So I was able to say, at the fear of judgment, if I can get rid of that, how can my life change. And boy did it. I mean, it just changed drastically. But through those collaborations and connections with with other women, that was really what helped me and taught me. And then just from there, I got so, so much that I just loved it so much connecting with other people, and then looking at like, How can I help them? How can I serve them? How can I connect them with other people, and I just started listening to their stories. And as I was listening to their stories, I was like, oh, I need to connect you with this person, oh, I need to connect you with that person. And I started just connecting people. It wasn't part of my business, but it was part of my business. I was just doing it because I was loving connecting people and helping them to do whatever it was that they were here to do with each other. Right. And so that's kind of like the journey of it. And it's something I had to learn. I didn't know how to do that.

Robert Peterson 13:20
Nice. So So what did you do to learn? I mean, what did you do to really dig into making that? A part of who you were?

Unknown Speaker 13:27
Oh, gosh, first, it was scary at first, you know, I had at the end, I had so many fears. And the scary part was saying, Is it okay, if I connect you with somebody? For me? It was scary just to ask them that, you know, can I connect you? Yes, please do. And I was like, Oh, they really want me to? Okay, this is cool. You know, so I got to learn that that people do want connections, that was one of the first things and like I myself wanted connections, I just had denied it for so many years. But But So realizing that they do want to connect with different people, and how can I connect them by listening to them listening to what they're saying, and listening to what they're not saying, which became something I became really good at, is to hearing what they weren't saying. And then just asking them, you know, is this some Is this somebody that would benefit you? If so, I would love to connect you with them. And that was kind of how I started doing it. Now I just say I've got to connect you with this person, because you too are going to just make some magic work right? And they're like, Okay, thank you and and then just moved into and it's just become part of me now.

Robert Peterson 14:33
I love that that instinct of of connection and and I guess people that don't have it wouldn't understand it, but there's just this, this knowing inside of you that says oh, you need to be connected to this person and I recently and I read tons right? I mean I listen to Audible books and I read books and I buy books and I Kindle books and I mean just books love books. I love books and And I've read hundreds 1000s. I mean, I don't even know. And I got involved in a in a, in a men's group and they said, Well, this is the book that we're reading. And I listened to it on the drive to my dad's house, I spent Fridays at my dad's and, and I'm like, I need to connect to this author. And I mean, I've heard hundreds. And I've connected to authors, because I've had authors on my podcast and, and other shows, but this was this was different. And I reached out on LinkedIn. And he replied, and I said, Man, I just love to have lunch with you, I don't even know I think you're in Colorado Springs, the company was in Colorado Springs, actually, they weren't there in St. Louis now. And it turns out his house was he was 11 miles away from my house. And so we had lunch the next week. And it's just been an incredible connection. And it's been, but there's an instinct about, and I have that with my clients with other people. And I just feel like, Oh, you need to meet so and so you need to meet someone. So those these two people need to need to connect. And I love that instinctual just, if you're paying attention to the people that you're with, and the people around, you just know who needs to meet.

Unknown Speaker 16:09
And that's the key there is because it's beginning because you said instinctual. If you'd told me that 10 years ago, I wouldn't have known what you're talking about. Because it wasn't an instinct, it was an instinct, I had to learn, I had to learn how to tap into it, like you said, you know, with the knowing the feelings, like oh, you just you just can tell. There's some people that they're like, their resonance with each other, you know, you have to connect them. And then like, I just feel like it's our obligation to do that, because we don't know what's going to happen when they connect. But at least we've taken the laboring or to make it happen. And I want to share something about that. Because when I make connections with people, they're you know, sometimes I've seen people like, hey, you know, you gotta meet this person, they connect you you guys make magic happen. I'm like, why am I connecting with them? What? Well, yeah, so what I love to do is say, you know, this person does this. And this is how I see you two working together, this person does this. And this is why I see the two of you working together so that we at least they know why they're making that connection. So I just wanted to share that if you're connecting people, let them know why.

Robert Peterson 17:15
No, absolutely. I I much prefer that other than occasionally you get that introduction. And they say, Well, you to have a call and see what happens. Like Wait, no, I want to know why it's I want to know, I want to know why you think we make a good introduction. So I love love that, that you added that. Yeah, that can be really important. Alright, so you mentioned writing your first book was kind of the, the initiator of of all of this. And so let's talk about your first book and what led you to write it and, and and how it's kind of the impact that it's made.

Unknown Speaker 17:49
Yeah, the first book, it was a it was a collaboration book that I was in and is called footsteps of the fearless. It was in 2015, while I was breaking through one fear every single day for a year. And then I ended up meeting this gentleman that became my mentor. His name is Greg Reed, I think you probably know him. Yeah. Yeah. So I ended up meeting Greg, and he became my mentor. And he's writing this book, and he says, You're breaking through a fear every day, I'm writing a book called footsteps of the fearless. I think it's a perfect fit. So I ended up hopping into that book. And that was my first indoctrination into books. And I've never been a reader. I've never been a writer. So it was just like that in Choctaw Nation. And then after I finished breaking through those fears every single day, you know, for that year, at the end of the year, Greg asked me what I was going to do about it. And I was like, I don't think I need to do any more. I think breaking through a feveryday is plenty I'm done. And he says, No, you need to write a book about it. So I did. I wrote a book called The euro fears. And then after that, it was that, okay, I was in a book, I wrote a book, you know, what's next, that next natural state of progression, and then the title came to me momentum 13 lessons from action takers who changed the world? This title just dropped out of sky. You know, God sent it to me. And I was like, Okay, this is the book. So I reached out to some people I know you're the founder of Ugg boots you I met through Greg Reed and the creator the Make a Wish Foundation and the inventor of the credit card, magnetic strip, and then to grade himself, I reached out to all them, I said, I'm thinking of writing this book, will you be in it? And they all said yes. So I was like, Oh, crap, I gotta write a book, you know. So then I went, and I found 13 people, you know, to participate in that book as those action takers and, and put the book together. It was an amazing experience. I didn't have any idea what I was doing. But it was I'm just so glad I did. Because that was the first step was to do something. I didn't know what I was doing. And then after that, I was like, another title came and then in another title came, and now I have a list of about 80 titles that we're going to work on. But of course, I got to do them one at a time, you know, just as they come up.

Robert Peterson 19:58
Well, yeah, hoped doing them one at a time is a little a little more helpful, less, less overwhelming.

Unknown Speaker 20:06
Wow. Yes. That's,

Robert Peterson 20:08
I mean, it's just obviously it's just just fantastic. And, and I think those create natural connections, right, because now you've invited 13 people to participate. And then those 13 people, you connect to their, to their networks, right? Because it allows for cross marketing, it allows for 13 people promoting a book. And in so let's talk a little bit about that kind of promotion. And, and obviously, making a book is one step, we're getting a book out in the world is a whole nother level.

Unknown Speaker 20:40
Yeah, that's for sure. There's a saying that and I don't know what the statistics are, if they're real or not, I'll just say that because I heard from somebody who I heard from somebody from somebody, whatever, and that 24% of the population ever writes their book, and of the 24%, only 3% ever publish it. And you know, when you publish your book, you got to do all the marketing, you got to get the message out there, it's got to get into the hands of the people that you want to get it into. And it's not like they're all just Googling to find your book. So you really need to, you know, market that book. But I wanted to share, as you mentioned, about, you know, the connections and the, the network of, of all the authors in the book, well, not only do I tap into their connect their networks, but they also tap into each other's networks and into our network. So it creates this whole ecosystem for one book for one book. And then what we do at action takers publishing is once a month, we host meetings for all of our books, you know, so cross cultivation amongst all of our books and create these opportunities for them to connect with each other. And what I've loved about this is I get to see, like, for example, one gentleman in one of our books, he was hosting a summit, and he was looking for speakers. And he ended up more than 50% of his speakers were our authors that he had met through our connection events, you know, so it's really awesome, because we create this, this just huge, like I said, ecosystem of people that are connecting with each other, to make a difference and to do the work that they're here to do. And so the marketing aspect of it, what I love about your each of these book launches, it's so much fun, I just have a blast you we create all the marketing materials, we create all the content that goes with the marketing. And we tell everybody, he this is what we're going to do on this day. At this time. We're going to post our social media, we're going to send our emails, we're going to do launch day interviews, we're going to do all kinds of stuff to create the hype about the book. And because of the way we do it, and you I know other people do it this way as well. Right? But it works is because of the way it's done is that you we hit that number one international bestseller status, and everybody just has such a great time, especially our first time authors, which is just so much fun to help them to you know, hit those statuses. I love it. There's nothing like it for me. It's just, it just makes my day every single time I could do launch day every day. Yeah. Well, for different books.

Robert Peterson 23:06
Impact 5 million it's gonna take a few lunch.

Unknown Speaker 23:10
Yes, it is. Yes, it is. Hey, we're just getting started. You know, we got like 200 And I think we're at number 208 right now. Really, 4 million whatever. Awesome. Hey,

Unknown Speaker 23:20
you know what? Every number every author counts? Yes, yes, they do. Yes, they do. We will

Robert Peterson 23:26
be right back after this short break. This episode is sponsored by perfect publishing a different approach to publishing a book. Perfect publishing carefully chooses heroes of Hope, who exemplify living a life they created through faith, hope, patience, and persistence. No matter what page you open to in this mini cube of hope, you will find a leader with a big heart, you will see you are not alone. The authors may share similar challenges that only hope and action could resolve. Get your free ebook at get a dose of Welcome back. Let's get back to more greatness. So you mentioned Greg Reed, you mentioned getting to participate in his book. And so let's let's talk about the value of mentors in in your growing process in in your, in your journey. And then how obviously now you're mentoring authors and in serving them and so how that mentoring becomes a receiving you're receiving it but then also is passing it on and and how entrepreneurs should find a mentor.

Unknown Speaker 24:28
Yes. mentorship, man, if it weren't for Greg's mentorship, I don't know what I'd be doing today. Because you know, I was on that, that track of not knowing what I was doing, not knowing how to figure out how to make any money and all that stuff. And really through Greg's mentorship, I've had times where he would say just a simple phrase, and I would be like, the epiphany I needed in this moment. And I remember one of them in particular. It drove me nuts at the time, but you know, now I totally get it and help coordinate was for me. I was doing some sales for him, because one of the things he taught me is that because remember, money was my big issue. So he said, If you can't sell products for someone else, how do you expect to sell them for yourself? Because I was my block, I was in the way. So I started selling tickets to his event called Secret Knock. And he taught me how to sell tickets there. He said, Just tell your story. You don't need to sell anybody anything. Just tell your story. So I would get on calls, and I would tell my story, and they would buy tickets or I would get on calls. And they would tell my story, and they didn't buy tickets. But it was really about me sharing my story. And so what was funny is one day, I went to make a call. And he was in the other room. And I didn't know he could hear me, I what I tried to get away, so he wouldn't hear me. But he could hear me. So when I got off the call, he said, That was the worst sales call ever. Like that. I was like, Oh, my gosh, I was mortified. I was like, What did I do? I thought I thought it was great, you know, and he was like, That was awful. He said, You think too much. Those four words. Those are instrumental. If it weren't for the mentorship, the person who knows exactly what I need to move forward in that next moment, the person who sees who I am today and knows who I who I really am, and has helping me to get there. Those four words were instrumental, like, I remember that I'll remember them forever. He was right. I was thinking too much. So the mentorship oh my gosh, Greg's mentorship has been just phenomenal. And I've been very fortunate to move into that space. And I'll share how that happened. Because you're how do you find the right mentor? How do you find a mentor? How do you know if they're gonna work with you as a mentor, all those things like, I never even considered him as as going to be my mentor. So what happened was I met him he was speaking at an event, it was a vision board seminar. And after he was done speaking, he gave out his phone number. He said, I always give out my phone number because nobody ever calls it. And I'm like, Well, I'm going to call it so I did. I called him. And I said, Hey, I'd like to come out and come and hang out with you guys today. Is that okay? So I went and hung out in his office. And I was there for about four hours, just kind of like watching them interacting and all this. And then finally, after four hours, he says, so why are you here? Exactly. At least you notice. He's a man of few words, that's for sure. And, and I said, I just wanted to hang out with you guys, positive people. You know, I'm not used to positive people. So I just wanted to hang out. He's like, okay, cool. You know, and that was kind of like the first meeting. And then I went, I did that again. And that was when I he introduced me to the book, you the footsteps of the fearless foot. And then I just kept hanging around. And every time I hung around, he would give me some huge epiphany. And I would go do it. And I would just keep doing. So what Greg taught me is that you when you're a mentor, if you're working with people who actually do the work, you'll keep giving them more work to do. But if they don't do the work, and they don't get results, then you stop mentoring them. And I just kept showing up and I just kept doing the work. Eventually, I ended up where I attended Secret Knock. And then eventually I ended up using Hey, can I volunteer? So I ended up volunteering for the event. And then after about a year and a half, his assistant moved. And he asked me, Do you want to put on the event you want to organize Secret Knock? And I was like, Heck yeah. Because it's just a really great event. And it was through all of that tutelage. Right? So I'm hanging out and being part of the gang and, and all this stuff, and they move into organizing the event. And, and that turned into me doing things like one of my favorites is I interviewed the president of Mexico in his presidential suite. But it was because of that connection with Greg. some really amazing things have happened. Because I said yes. And because I opened that first door, you know, and I stepped through it. So mentorship, I, I can't imagine not having him as a mentor. He's tough. He's really tough. But I wanted to change and transform and so I was willing to do the work to make it happen.

Robert Peterson 29:26
Well, I love that the amazing things have happened because you said yes. And you were just willing to lean in. I know that you've you've interviewed at some other incredible interviews and of course incredible people participating in your books. Because of that first connection. And And now and now you're the connector. You're making connections that are more valuable than your connection to Greg was for some people,

Unknown Speaker 29:53
for some people. Yeah. Yeah, it's it's been it's been truly just an and experience, you know, breaking through those fears every day. That is really what was necessary to happen for me. In order for me to grow and grow into who I am you I grew up in a kind of sheltered environment, you know that it was abusive, but it was also sheltered. And you I didn't learn, like the worldly things. I didn't learn about the outside world very much. So when I finally

Robert Peterson 30:23
that's how abusers work is they keep you sheltered. Yeah, you don't know that. There's other options out there.

Unknown Speaker 30:29
Yeah, and thank you for sharing that, because I recognize that and other people, but I never even thought about it from my own perspective. So thank you for that for giving me that gift. Because that is true. And that's, that's what it was all about, right. And breaking through those fears every day, though, that's really what got me to exercise, what I call it my fear muscle, I would exercise my fear muscle. And every day, I would step outside of my proverbial comfort zone, and then I would come back. But then the next thing when I stepped out, it had grown a little bit. And so 365 days of the comfort zone, you know, expanding I call it enlarging the size of our comfort zone. So that now talking to a stranger is no longer scary. Because what if they don't like me? So what it's okay. You know, those are, that was huge.

Robert Peterson 31:19
You're training, you're training the brain to recognize that, wait a minute, that's not a lion that's going to eat me, I'm going to be okay, right. So the lizard brain is really what tries to keep us in our comfort zone. And for many people, they don't push against it. And once you start pushing against it, just like the fear of public speaking, some of the fears of meeting people, our brain is telling us that we're going to die. Like, we believe that we're going to die if I talk to it. And of course, when you say it out loud, even it's like, wait, what? That doesn't even make any sense, right? But but the fear is very real inside of your head, as long as it stays inside of your head. It has control. And I love that you just pushed up against it. And you just challenge those fears every day and, and challenging those fears allows your brain to see truth. And truth is super powerful to realize. Oh, you mean those people won't eat me like a T Rex? If I have a conversation with

Unknown Speaker 32:16
a T Rex?

Robert Peterson 32:18
What's up? They're not gonna they're not going to, you know, they're not going to destroy In fact, you start asking what's what's the worst that can happen? Right? Like, oh, they say no. Oh, they don't want to buy tickets to Secret Knock. Oh, okay. Right. Like, yeah, it doesn't change your life. It doesn't change your world it. In fact, it makes your world bigger, because you realize, well, just because that person didn't want to buy a Secret Knock ticket the next person, they probably will. And yeah, yeah, I love that you challenge fears, and sat with them. And like, asking the question is so powerful. I love curiosity. Curiosity is such a powerful tool for your own mind. Because the brain loves to answer questions, even though it holds on to all those fears. It loves to answer questions, it loves to look for answers. And so asking yourself, well, what's my biggest fear today that I need to conquer? So powerful? That you did it for a whole year? That's incredible. I'm gonna get your book, I'm gonna find out. Because 365 Like, that's, that's incredible. To me. Well, I

Unknown Speaker 33:23
didn't journal because I'm not much of a journal or so I didn't journal the whole journey. But however, I probably did journal it because I, I've done over 6000 Facebook Lives. And I was doing those Facebook Lives during that time. Yeah. So I never thought of like going back and seeing like, what am I? What were my lives during that year? And I should do that maybe? On my to do list.

Robert Peterson 33:46
Get one of those. Get one of those VAs to transcribe all your lives. And you've got another three books. You got a whole series?

Unknown Speaker 33:52
Yeah, I probably have a good 80 books out. There. Yeah. And you know, it's interesting, as you mentioned the question, so about six months into the journey, you know, again, I'm breaking through fear every single day. And about six months into it, I asked myself a question, because I love to ask questions, that curiosity. And the question was, what's the common theme? There's got to be at least an overlying overarching theme between these fears. And I had that epiphany that it was the fear of judgment. That fear of judgment is what was holding me back. So you mentioned that, you know, the speaking, you know, they say that more people are scared of speaking on stage than they are dying. And I was like, No way that's not true. The truth is that more people are scared of the judgement. Because I can go on stage and speak all day long. But now people are staring at me.

Robert Peterson 34:43
That's different if there's no audience it's easy. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 34:46
exactly. Exactly. Well, so though I came to this Nether another realization that the vast majority of fears fast like 99% of them that I broke through, I was a They're proud of myself for breaking through it, or the result that I got from it was way better than I thought it was going to get. And so I said, Why am I depriving myself of breaking through fears? I'm going to start breaking through fears, because I'm scared, not in spite of the fear, because that's disempowering. Right? Not face the fear and do it anyway, that's disempowering. But if I say, ah, that's just fear, I'm gonna do this, because I'm scared, I have moved into an emotional mental state of, of empowerment, I am empowered to break through this fear. And that has

Robert Peterson 35:36
the challenge of saying, I'm going to push through it anyway, allows the fear to stay in spite of your passing through it. So people that are afraid of heights, they say, Well, I'm going to, I'm going to push, I'm going to push through it, in spite of the fear, they jump, and then they still have the fear. Because, because they've allowed themselves to hold on to the fear, rather than challenge it and be empowered. So love, love that change. And, and, and people are listening are saying, well, it's just language, but no, it's not. It is powerful words are powerful in your mind, and you absolutely can be empowered and take responsibility. And, and push through them. And instead of in spite of them, oh, so good.

Unknown Speaker 36:20
Yeah, I'll share another one. I think you're gonna like this one, too. Okay. So as I was going through, I starting to recognize that when I was experiencing fear that I had very little faith. But when I had higher faith, I had lower fear, right, because they don't exist together. And so I came up with my own acronym. So we have acronyms, like face everything and run, face everything and rise, false evidence appearing real. So I'm brushing my teeth one day, it was like maybe three months into it, I'm brushing my teeth, I'm like false evidence appearing real. There's nothing false about these fears at all. These fears are not only appearing real, they are real as real can be to me, they might not be real to somebody else, but they are real to me. And so I said, when my faith is strong, my fear is weak. Faith erases anxious reactions. Because fear is nothing more than anxiety. Right? And it's just a reaction to something. So my faith erases my anxious reactions. And then it was that that faith piece I was like, living experiencing fear, I need to say, I need to tap into my faith, how am I going to tap into my faith, and this is Faith in three areas, faith in myself that I can actually do this. Faith in my, my people, the abio people, my surroundings, my mentors, right faith in them. And then faith in our Higher Power. God, I believe in God. So I can tap into my faith in myself, my faith, and my friends and family, my faith and my my mentorship, and then my faith in God. I got this. I'm gonna do this now. Because I'm scared. So good.

Robert Peterson 38:04
So powerful.

Unknown Speaker 38:06
Yeah, that's transformative. is amazing.

Robert Peterson 38:10
Absolutely. All right. So you mentioned this routine of facing a fear everyday for for the whole year. What other routines are non negotiables for you now is you've continued this journey,

Unknown Speaker 38:24
ah, gosh, well, the the fear thing is big, it still stays with me, I still experienced fear, because I'm a human being one of the like, you'll notice me say, experiencing fear, like I don't have fears. It's an experience that we're having, right? So I still experience it. And I still go through that. This is fear, I'm going to do it because I'm scared. So that's one of the things and that is that is huge for me. One of the other things that I've incorporated, you know, like we talked about earlier is the, you know, the, like the collaboration or the connections and connecting people with each other. This is a really important piece for me is to make sure that I connect with people every day, because I'm an extrovert, and I need that connection. But important for me, is to only connect with positive and uplifting people. So I have my own, my own personal life's mission, I have my business mission. But my personal life's mission is to spend the rest of my life having as much fun as possible, hanging out with positive, uplifting people who are making a positive impact on the planet. So one of the things I've incorporated into my life is if I feel negativity and negativity coming from you, then I will probably just kind of turn around and just walk away without even saying anything. And that's that was big for me because as a reformed people pleaser that would risk them not liking me. And now I realize that that's okay. They don't need to like me, I just don't I need to surround myself with positive uplifting people. That's it. That's my life.

Robert Peterson 39:59
Right and people I mean, obviously negative people are energy suckers instead of energy givers and you need to be around energy givers. And that boundary is so valuable. I think so few people really understand the value of boundaries. And boundaries need to be in relationships as well as you know, some of your decisions and so good for you for establishing that boundary and then honoring yourself to protect it. Love the reformed people pleaser, because that's an important step as well. Yeah, people pleasing is not growth and doesn't in sacrifices you for others.

Unknown Speaker 40:37
So yeah, and one thing I discovered about like people pleasing aspect is that, as a people pleaser, we don't really know who we are. Because we are too busy thinking about the other people like, what are they going to think about me? Or are they going to be mad at me, you know, whatever it is that we've got going on. And so I remember I was working with my life coach, and this was back in 2014. And she asked me a simple question. The question is, what do you love? What do you love doing? I was like, I don't know. Because I didn't ever consider myself. And so she helped me make a list of all the things I love doing. And when I'm thinking about them when I'm doing them, and then after I'm done doing them, you'll write down all those things. And I came up with this list of about 35 items on the list. And then the next step was really big, because it helped me to move into where I am now today. And that was to every single day for a week, she wanted me to look at my list, and do one of those five things for five minutes. Nice. And then the next week, we increase it to 10 minutes, and then 15 minutes, every week, it was just increased by five more minutes. And I found myself doing a lot more things that I love doing and learning what I love doing, what does it feel like to actually love what I'm doing? You know, so I, I was unable to be an authentic person, as a people pleaser, because I was too busy worrying about what other people were thinking about me?

Robert Peterson 42:07
Well, and the challenge with that is, there's no conversation about what they're thinking about you. It's all based on assumptions. That did you think about? Yes, and, and, and that makes it even worse is because you're not meeting their expectation, or your own expectation, right? And, and you really do your identity is lost in this space of trying to be the person they expect you to be in. And we're raising up a whole generation of boys in single mom households where moms are saying, don't be like your dad. And they're making assumptions about what their father was like. And they're getting their definition of masculinity from their mother. And they have no idea. So there's this whole generation of boys trying to be people pleasers, and trying to meet this expectation of Don't be like your father, so don't have that masculine identity, and have this masculine identity that we don't really know what it is because it's based on unknown reality. Yeah, we're in it's creating this incredible challenge for our culture, I believe, because it's based on expectations that don't exist.

Unknown Speaker 43:13
Those are great points. I love that. Because we don't know what the expectations really are. If somebody else even if we ask them, they might say it, but that might not really even be true. We don't know. Or at least,

Robert Peterson 43:24
if you have a conversation. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 43:27
Yeah, exactly. I remember when I met my husband, growing up in the household I grew up in my mom did everything. She was the maid the cook, and she did everything. And I didn't learn how to do my own laundry, you know, my mom did it. And so when I when I met my husband, and I remember so when I was growing up, I had a clean clothes pile and a dirty clothes pile, like that was just the way it was. And my husband, I remember one day, he said, If I come home, and you're closer on the floor, I'm gonna throw them away. And I was like, she won't do that. He didn't do that. He set the expectation he set the boundary and when he came home, but the clothes were on the floor, and he threw them away. So I had to go take my clothes out of the out of the trash, wash them and then actually put them away. And so it created a new pattern I was able to, I learned that this is not the way to do it with him. It was okay, it worked for my parents, but it doesn't work for this relationship. And so setting the boundaries, right, you were talking about boundaries earlier, setting the boundaries, but what upholding the boundaries.

Robert Peterson 44:30
Well, that transition from from people pleaser to refer to people pleaser can be challenging for that relationship. Because you've you created expectations in acting as a people pleaser that were false. And so when you reform yourself, you have to reform that relationship to

Unknown Speaker 44:49
Yeah, that was interesting in itself. Yeah. Because at one point, my husband came to me and he said, I don't know if I'm liking who you're becoming because you're not the same person. You are getting married. And I said, That's right. I'm not the same person you married. I'm now being more confident and I'm moving into a different person. And fortunately, he's still here. It's been 34 years we've been together. Yeah. Well after he got used to it, right, so and as I grow, and then he gets used to, and then I grow and he gets used to it, and but our relationship is stronger than it's ever been. Yeah, the

Robert Peterson 45:25
only people who really like people pleasers are narcissists. I mean, ultimately, and yeah, and that's just the whole mess that that.

Unknown Speaker 45:35
And unfortunately, there's too many of them out there.

Robert Peterson 45:37
Oh, there there are in, in, in Yeah. And too many people acting like it's okay. Like, it's a diagnosis. And that's, that makes it okay. And it should never be so. Linda, this has been fantastic. I want to give you a chance to share what inspires you and, and that how you how you want to make that impact of 5 million authors.

Unknown Speaker 46:01
Yeah, you know, what inspires me really is the stories, I love hearing stories. And I was never really much of a person that was into stories before I discovered that my own story can make an impact. You know, that was through, that's the story of the Euro fears, I'll just share a quickly I was attending an event and this woman that I didn't know, she came running over to me, she's like, I got your book, The euro fears, I read the first 14 pages. And I already broke through five fears. So it was that moment that I realized that our stories are extremely powerful, how much we don't like I didn't think my story was would be impactful. I didn't think that at all. Because I lived it. It was just my life. Right. And so for her that, yeah, for her, it was transformative. And so it's through that power of us sharing our stories that we make our greatest connections, I say, it's our relation points that create our relationships. So this is how we connect with others is through our stories. Storytelling has been around since the very beginning of time. And so what inspires me about that is just to hear the stories and hear their the life that they've gone through. And then especially being able to take that story, put it in into a book, having some stranger read it, and have it to help them to transform their lives as well. So that's why I do what I do. It's it's impactful. And you know, we just we don't know who's going to read those stories, and how much of an impact it's going to make on their lives.

Robert Peterson 47:28
So good. All right. So we've shared for the last 45 minutes, and you want to leave these entrepreneurs with Linda's Words of Wisdom, what would you share?

Unknown Speaker 47:37
My greatest words of wisdom is to see yourself through the eyes of others. For others see the real you as a reformed people pleaser, I needed to see the goodness that people saw in me so that I could learn that that was the truth.

Robert Peterson 47:54
So good. Linda, thank you so much for joining me today. And thank you for sharing your authentic self and your authentic story and just love the way you've grown and the impact you're making in the world.

Unknown Speaker 48:06
Thank you. Thanks for having me. I really appreciate it. It was fantastic. And I always love sharing my story. So thanks for the opportunity. I love it.

Robert Peterson 48:14
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