Noelle Peterson

and Robert discuss her journey as a wife, missionary, teacher, trainer and now on a mission of self discovery to find and fulfill her own dream after a near death experience opened her eyes to how she had sacrificed her wants and desires for everyone else. Today she seeks to empower women to believe in themselves and that they are worthy of their own dream.

A little bit about Noelle...

Noelle Peterson is the author of Dream Life Planner: Move From Tired and Overwhelmed to Free and Empowered and co-founder of Add Value 2 Life Coaching. Noelle helps women awaken their dreams and design a path to reach them.

Noelle served in Christian Ministry as a missionary. She began her own entrepreneurial journey after 13 years in ministry and 9 years in government. She aims to help women who want more out of life.

Noelle is a speaker, trainer, author and coach. She uses her skills and experience to guide women who are unhappy with where they are and seeking the path to their dreams.

With over 20 years of leadership, Noelle offers a unique perspective guiding women to get out of their own way and figure out what they want to be when they “grow up.”

Check out more of Noelle

Website: AddValue2Life.com  and Empower2Dream.com

Podcast: AddValue2Entrepreneurs.com and AddValue2Life.com/podcasts/pressure-check

Facebook: /noellelpeterson and /n2r2peterson

Instagram: /n2r2peterson

LinkedIn: /n2r2peterson

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Noelle Peterson
57:43
 
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Show Notes

Robert Peterson  0:30  

Today's a pretty exciting day we're celebrating our 200th episode. We have a very special guest with us today. My lovely wife, Noelle. First thing I want to talk about is Noelle and my story are inside this wonderful little cube of Hope called a dose of hope.

Robert Peterson  2:10  

Dose stands for dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins that you get when you smile, and you share hope. This is 1/4 of the series of dose of hope. We love sharing our story of hope. Many other authors have shared their story hope. These are a collection of TEDx talks, sharing stories of hope. Noelle and I had the privilege of being invited and nominated to participate. Our stories are here. We'd love to nominate you and have a conversation about your potential to be in this hope. You also can get your own digital copy at get adoseofhope.com. Noelle, let's start out talking about your story of hope.

Noelle Peterson  2:58  

The story I wrote about talk started a year ago. Tomorrow is the anniversary, August 9 of a year ago, me having to go into the hospital, and my hope and that was that I was able to spend 13 days in hospital in cardiac care, ICU, cardiac floor recovering from an aortic dissection, and how I was able to do that with a smile on my face.

Robert Peterson  3:28  

While the rest of us were in sheer panic. Never, never, never in sheer panic, felt very helpless. A year ago was a crazy day in our lives and, reinvigorated our commitment to our business reinvigorated our commitment to each other and the idea of not taking another day for granted. Basically, Noelle was perfectly fine at 8am and she was working at her desk working from home, she had every other day for the last year and a half, probably over two years now in the midst of all this chaos. She got a pain in her neck and I I was walking out the door planning to go up to my dad's house and, and literally this pain in her neck. Her legs started going numb or I could tell she was very uncomfortable. Something was very wrong. I threw all of our stuff in the car, I was going to take her to hospital and by the time I got inside the house, she couldn't walk and I couldn't carry her. I ended up calling 911. The ambulance, the paramedics arrived, the fire department arrived. By that time her legs had kind of worked a little bit and the paramedics walked her out to the ambulance and they checked to see if she'd had a stroke and they checked to see if she was having a heart attack. They cleared her of both of those things. In fact, they even offered, hey, if you guys don't want to take an ambulance, you can take her in your own car. I was like, no, look, you guys already got her on the bus. She's terribly uncomfortable. We don't know what's going on. You need to take her and I'll follow you. Off we went on our adventure to the hospital. 

Noelle Peterson  5:25  

Nobody knew at this point what we were leaving, there was an issue.

Robert Peterson  5:31  

The neighbors saw. In fact, a couple of our neighbors already went out and bought balloons and a get well card and expected to give that to Noelle and we came back home that night. The emergency room, she gets wheeled into the emergency room and they start checking for different things based on the pain in the throat and her legs going numb, gastrointestinal maybe it's a nerve issue. They do a chest X-ray and they don't find anything. Then they give her Dilaudid to calm her down because she's so wiggly and squirmy that they can't do a CT scan. They need to, they need to figure out how to do a CT scan. Once they did a CT scan, we had some more answers.

Noelle Peterson  6:22  

All hell broke loose.

Robert Peterson  6:24  

It became an interesting room. The ER doctor literally flew by the door and said, we know what's wrong. You have a swollen vessel. We're thinking, it's a swollen vessel and the surgeon is on his way. The cardiac cardiothoracic surgeon comes to Noelle's bedside and calmly explains that you have a swollen vessel. It requires surgery to repair. He was so far away, he was very calm. Noelle has had five or six other procedures done over her lifetime. She's very comfortable in this environment and didn't have any, any concerns, signed the waiver without thinking about the consequences as a mortgage document. We didn't even realize, he kind of as we're as he was walking out the door, saying, this is an open heart surgery. You'll be in the hospital for at least a week. It was like, wait, what? Then, the anesthesiologist was the shocker, he was a little more dramatic. He talked about IVs in both sides of her neck and being able to measure her blood pressure with every heartbeat. The nurse in the corner was on her cell phone calling. She's saying, We're, in the room saw, and so on and so on. Type and cross for four units of blood. Then they rolled Noelle down the hallway, it happened pretty dramatically and pretty fast.

Just to be clear, we hadn't even called our kids yet.  

Now I had to call both kids and tell them that their mom's going into open heart surgery for an aortic dissection.

Noelle Peterson  8:05  

It was so new, we had no idea what to do, it was just another procedure I was going into, the doctors were gonna do what they're gonna do, I'm gonna wake up in a little while. Keep my phone nearby, all that kind of thing is whatever. I had no idea that it was a near death experience. If they had not wheeled me into surgery, I would not be here.

Robert Peterson  8:32  

Our son, who had taken EMT training, literally answered the phone and said, Do I need to get on a plane?'' My reaction was I don't think so the nurse said she'd be up and walking tomorrow. I felt she was in the best place to get the best care. They took really good care of her. By the miracle of getting her to the hospital in the first place. The miracle of the right doctors being in the right place was that she had a second procedure eight days later that actually repaired the backside of the aorta, her aorta split. The layers separated from her heart all the way down to her iliac which is down below the kidneys and the aorta goes up and around on the backside and goes down along your spinal column. They were able to repair everything except for the arch and the arch didn't seem to be separated and her risk of aneurysm is now significantly lower. An aneurysm is where the vessel swells on the thin side because of the blood flowing through the outside layer of the vessel, that thin layer pops and becomes a bleed. If it happens in that first section of the aorta. It's deadly almost instantaneously if it happens in the back section. It will cause lots of issues but can be fixed and then of course if it happens in the iliacs and inner legs, then Those can be repaired as well. We believe that she went from being, a pretty healthy young woman, young woman, grandma, pretty healthy grandma, young grandma, who was that was a young grandma, to needing to take now blood pressure meds and it wasn't that she she had had regular checkups and she'd had, previous doctor visits and there was no evidence of, of this as a possibility, 

Noelle Peterson

Even genetic testing that I was allowed to do afterwards all came back normal. 

Robert Peterson  10:45  

We still have no idea. There's no why. For this to happen, it's about a one in a million.

Basically, for every million people in the population, one person has had this happen to them. It's pretty rare. It's also very dangerous, 40% of them are discovered on autopsy, the person gets this pain and this discomfort and thinks something must be going on. They go take a nap, and they die laying there. We're so grateful that she's still with us.

Noelle Peterson  11:12  

There's no prescribed way that it presents, it's going to present differently in anybody. You just don't know, we can't even say this, you look for this. I've tried to explain to the kids that if you've got any feelings or anything like this, or they'll get them checked, there's nothing that the doctor's kind of wants for.

Robert Peterson  11:33  

The bottom line is, I'm super grateful that I still have my business partner and my best friend, and super grateful that we get to share that story of hope, and possibility, also the power of a smile and the power of having a good attitude. We believe that that's helped her in the healing process that's helped her in the recovery process. It helps in every moment of life. We're so blessed that we've been prepared to be on that positive thinking side and having positive expectations for a positive outcome. Of course, we had 1000s and 1000s of people praying for her. We had every circle that we’re a part of, including previous work circles, faith and ministry circles, that were a part of the current race community that we serve as chaplains, and even our current circle of business partners and friends, that all were lifting her up. We absolutely believe in the power of prayer, we believe in that, our faith carries us through as well. Absolutely credit God with, with having something for Noelle to continue to do and to be on this planet to make an impact. We want to honor that impact. That's a part of our motivation for building our business for serving entrepreneurs and serving women. In her case, we know that we have more impact to make.

Noelle Peterson  13:09  

We have more to do.

Robert Peterson  13:13  

Let's talk about the impact that you're wanting to make this year. Your incident was last August. Then in January, you wrote your first book, and here it is in print. This dream life planner moved from tired and overwhelmed to free and empowered. Let's talk about the origin of your planner, and then it is kind of who your target is.

Noelle Peterson  13:40  

Around the beginning of the year, I was working on some worksheets to evaluate my goals and resolutions or whatnot for the upcoming season. Trying to figure out what I wanted to do, how I could be involved in the business and what the next steps were in life. I was getting overly frustrated with the worksheets that I had found or that you had found. One day after multiple days of trying to figure out and complete these papers, you looked at me and said, then write your own, which, why not? Who said you couldn't write something. I didn't know what I was gonna do with it or what it was for. I spent a few weekends after that, putting together worksheets and activities to help somebody figure out where they're at and where they want to go, and work on getting there. Some daily steps and daily activities. It ended up being a 52 page book, at the time in January, it was just worksheets and I had printed them out and put a PDF together with no idea of what to do. What am I going to do with it now so it felt like it was too big to be a lead magnet to put out? They're in the world wide web. I didn't know what to do with it. We met your publisher in January. He's like, let's publish it. Which seems kind of exciting to get a book published. Let's do it. The audience, I focus on women, and I have a desire to help women be all they can be in magnificent relationships. If they can take care of themselves, and love on them, and be the woman that God's made them to be, they can be better spouses, better co workers, better moms. 

Robert Peterson  15:39 

Absolutely. The workbooks are some pretty powerful worksheets, first of all, to help somebody evaluate where they are now, and then determine why they want to change, what they want to make different. Why does that really matter? Then they gotta be accountable? They gotta evaluate, where are they spending their time, who they're hanging out with? Figuring out, in a lot of ways, about being intentional, we want to make an intentional choice, with our time, with our relationships, with our money, although that's not necessarily included in this part. That's taking responsibility for their life, and then owning the direction that they're going.

Noelle Peterson  16:30  

You very much so we don't change, we don't grow if we're not going to take some action.

Robert Peterson  16:36  

Then you've got a little section about limiting beliefs, and helping somebody start to identify their limiting beliefs and how that voice in their head is holding them back.

Noelle Peterson  16:50  

We learned through life, and we had lots of people that influenced us, as children, as students is, in college, every step of life, we've got other adults influencing our behavior, and even other children, that give us negative feedback during the day, if they don't like how we look, or we don't want, they don't like how we did something, whether it's right or wrong, we can take that feedback and make it malware, negative parts of our core being. That can damage us for life, if we until we acknowledge that those sayings happened, or that those beliefs are inside us, we can't adjust and move on and grow from that.

Robert Peterson  17:36  

You use the word malware. That's identifying that this is basically negative programming in our subconscious. The challenge for most people is that they lack awareness of the negative programming. Many times that programming can happen at a single event, it could have been a comment that a parent makes in passing, the idea that, you could never do that, or how would you ever accomplish that, or you'll never be very good at that, you can't make a living doing that. Those kinds of plants plant those seeds. They become very powerful limitations. Having the awareness when, when setting a goal or setting a dream, having the awareness to recognize the statement that that voice in your head makes the inner critic some people call it. When that inner critic says that, we need to be able to turn that belief into a positive. How does your book help them make that transition, 

Noelle Peterson  18:43  

It takes some awareness and thought process to acknowledge and even hear it in your own head. Until you are aware, you can't adjust to it. My desire is that you can acknowledge and be aware of these things happening, acknowledge your thoughts, and hear it happening and then be able to switch that around and say the opposite. It's very valuable to have statements that you tell yourself, at least every morning, if not more often, that reprogram yourself to believe in, I am worthy, I am helpful, I am loved. I  am rich whatever it needs to be, I can be an artist, I'm a writer, you make positive statements and tell yourself over and over and over whether you believe them at first or not. It's gonna take some reprogramming

Robert Peterson  19:41  

One recognizes for many people that that voice in their head is not their own. It's not necessarily on your side. It's your brain's survival voice trying to protect you from the lion outside the door that's clearly ready to eat you when you start to do some of these things.

Noelle Peterson  20:00  

The voice in our head is not necessarily on our side at all. I heard you say 95% is automatic programming automatic decisions that are made. We have to work intentionally to make those changes that we can reprogram and help ourselves grow in those ways.

Robert Peterson  20:20  

Besides the I Am statements and affirmations, as they're called, How has gratitude helped you grow? How do you see it as a tool in helping others?

Noelle Peterson  20:36  

We have to be thankful for what we've got. If we can't be thankful for what we do have, why do we deserve more, I encourage everybody to start the day, one of the best things we can do is start off with being thankful for the house that we have the food that we have, the friends we have the job that we have, and even in a situation where your car breaks down, and you want to throw it all to the wolves. What do I do, be thankful that you have somebody to call or that you have AAA, or whatever the situation may be that helps you get out of that, to be thankful in the moment for that situation. That you mean and it helps you be on the positive side so that you can enjoy the life that you do have, and you don't go down that spiral for the rest of the day, you had a horrible time in one situation.

Robert Peterson  21:27  

We talked about being intentional and designing the life that you want. When this incident happened, you were still working your job for the state and wanting a way out. I'd committed to getting you on board, as part of the company. It never felt like we were in a position to make that happen. We kept pushing that down the road. Let's talk about that decision that you made for yourself.

Noelle Peterson  22:02  

I'm not sure exactly where you're trying to go. In March, I want to say I had written the book, it was working on getting published. We wrote the dose of hope story. I was trying to blog at the time and writing regularly. I really, really enjoy writing, it's been a very therapeutic, also enjoyable experience for me in the last few months when I've been able to sit and actually write. I acknowledged to myself in March that I can't write, and I can't help you build a business anymore. working nine to five, I was maxed out. I didn't have any more to give. I was not sure I was unhappy at work. There was definitely some stress there. I've actually had people tell me in the last few weeks how much better I look not having that job and at home. Whatever that means. I said March had said, I need out. What do you think if may 1st Is it. We talked about it, prayed about it. We decided that I would resign at the end of April. I will leave my position at the end of May. It was very difficult to explain that to wonderful friends that I had at work that I've worked with for three and a half years. It was what we needed, what I needed physically and mentally. One of the things that happened is, in my job, I had to have a password that gave me access to all the software that we use at work on my computer. Every time I logged into anything, I had to type that password. There are times when you can't use the ones you tried last and you have created and it's all these security issues. I got frustrated and I wrote one down and used it for the last two months. I was there thinking back that was a feed to my self consciousness because that password was an unnamed word out of my book, and may 1 it was telling my brain subconsciously that may 1 was my day. This is it, it has to be. Robert allowed me and worked with me to make that happen.

Robert Peterson  24:28  

You've tried to find your voice trying to find who your ideal client is. Of course trying to figure out how that meshes with, add value to life as a firm as a company. It's a work in progress. We're moving forward. You've taken on a pretty large project that is something You can have a very large impact on. That started this week.

Noelle Peterson  25:05  

One of the thoughts that came to mind last month was to start this 12 week mastermind. The details came into my brain. As I sit here at my desk and was trying to figure out who to talk to, is this valid is it makes sense to do is this the way to work it in make all those decisions, we're self employed, we don't have anybody else to bounce those ideas off of, chatted with you a bit, and ran with it. I got 12. Mentors, keynote speakers that are going to speak over 12 weeks and invited every woman in the planet to join us with the desire and the thought that women who are in transition or midlife crisis, where you've gone through a divorce or a death, or the kids are going off to college, or some sort of transition where your role is adjusting, that these women would be fabulous at and sharing their stories to help us move and grow forward and who we are. The idea of a woman in transition came, as I am looking to figure out myself, also when I look back. When I was turning 40, I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do when I grew up. I was leaving one job that was being adjusted and changed and throwing my resume out to the world to figure out where it landed. Then also I look back at my mom, who was a mother of four and had her own career. Once the career was gone, and the kids were all off to school, off to college and on their lives. Who was she? I fear that many women especially back in that day, their role was mom. There's a lot more for us women than just being the mom at the house, we have a reason that we're here on earth. God has a lot for us. We need to be confident in who we are and have the ability to move forward and figure out who that is. I want to help them do that.

Robert Peterson  27:11  

You talked about women in transition, it's really an identity crisis. There's a lot of women in roles and doing jobs and men to that, that they kind of fell into. That was that. That's one one thing. The idea that you took the first job that they said yes to your resume and offered you sufficient pay and benefits to make you feel valuable. The truth is, if it wasn't a dream, it didn't match up with your personality with your identity. Now, the other issue, with identity is, and this definitely especially applies to women. They've to take on a support role. In the family, they subject themselves to their husband, as a wife, they put the kids first as a mom. When they go into a job position, they put the job and other people first, they take on this role of support and make it happen. They don't get all the credit and the glory but they're the ones behind the scenes making all this stuff happen and their identity can get stuck there. That nurture caring part inside of a woman is Matt has a natural inclination towards that. It doesn't necessarily have to stay there. It doesn't mean that that has to be a part of their identity. That's a bigger transition that many women want to experience. They feel trapped that they've given up their ideas, they've given up their dreams. They've given up their desires for the sake of the family, for the sake of the husband, for the sake of the job, and whatever situation they're in. How do we help women be empowered? How do we help women capture that idea and that dream and take it on for them to give themselves permission to dream for themselves? 

Noelle Peterson  30:01  

I want to acknowledge an example: we women often change our name at least once in life. We start off with who we are as children. Most of us get married and we change our name. Sometimes that comes with an identity change. Then if you get divorced or widowed, and then you change your name back in, that can be in itself an adjustment, and acknowledging, The first step is acknowledging that we are who we are, our name is a name, we are the same person, regardless of all the changes that happen, and we need to allow ourselves to be that person. Live that dream. My dream as a little girl was to be a stewardess, even into college, I was going in to try and be

Robert Peterson  30:57  

Travel agent,

Noelle Peterson  30:58  

Travel agent. God used that, and I was able to travel the world, and I love to travel. I can't get enough of it. Using that desire to travel and be in multiple places, and do all those different things, in a different way than I understood as a kid. In my role, and my job now is trying to use that desire to be around people to share with people to share experiences, in a different way. Maybe as a kid, I didn't understand that that was what the dream was, still close. We women need to allow ourselves the desire and allow ourselves the ability and space to dream and fulfill our dreams, whatever that may be.

Robert Peterson  31:49  

One of the things that I get frustrated with is our culture tends to identify, we put our identity in our career and our job together. When you go to a networking event, we ask, what do you do? What do you do? What do you do, and we kind of use that as the identifying factor of who a person is. Of course, that same identity issue applies to women. Many women that have that have sacrificed their dreams for somebody else. The role, and the identity can be separate, and almost have to be, it's very hard, our language is very much geared towards keeping roles and identities stuck together. Mom, wife, CEO, painter, Baker, candlestick maker. 

Noelle Peterson  32:53  

That there's pieces where we are all the different roles that we play. In that role, it is hard to distinguish and adjust to that change. Sending my kids off to live on their own. It's hard. Being a grandma is so worth it. They can just take and go.

Robert Peterson  33:17  

Let's talk about that role, or the idea of those roles. You mentioned your mom and some of her value was tied to her identity as a mom, that that when, when she was no longer being a mom. All the kids had left and some of it got a little rough. There were some failures there. I feel that impacted her identity in such a negative way. With My Mom, when she retired she lost her praise system. She lost the network of people around her that were telling her great job, good job, way to go. Then she's home alone for a lot of the time, dad was still working the first four years that mom was retired. Even then dad's there was not a love language guy. He's not a praise, natural appraiser. She went from having it daily. Oh, Mary, this is so good. Oh, you've done such a great job, to not receive any praise. That impacted her identity. It impacted her belief in herself, and certainly in her value. Both you and I've seen how powerful that can be in our moms, our own moms lives and trying to prevent that for others is so important.

Noelle Peterson  34:51  

I could see that in my role. You get all that praise and you get that I was given a lot of authority and responsibility, and people care that I was there. When you walk away from that, and both our moms, and you lose that it needs to have that basis at home, you need to be able to have a support system. Not all husbands and wives get along in their love languages, we don't all love the same way, we don't all support the same way. We don't all talk through that to make sure that we're covering that. So many moms, and I can see the guys doing the same thing, walk away from something that gives them that value. Start to devalue themselves, they're not getting that support that they're expecting.

Robert Peterson  35:39  

This identity thing, our mind is definitely more challenging for us to navigate than, than it seems on the surface. When you're intentional, and when you can spend some time. In some daily practices, it can be very powerful. Let's talk about some of your daily practices that are helping you, you've tried things you're developing, things you're still working on.

Noelle Peterson  36:10  

One of the books that we started was The Five Minute Journal, and I mentioned it in my book as well, where you spend five minutes every morning and night, at most first thing in the morning and last thing at night. You're doing it before your brain has time to censor anything out. Then last night, you're going to bed with the same thoughts. You get up in the morning and you are grateful for what you have and what you do. Name three things that you're grateful for. Things that are going to be made today. Great, what do you want to accomplish, and your affirmation statements. I am beautiful, I am wealthy, I am worthy. Anything that's specific to you. Sometimes it can change. You don't have to do the same affirmation statements every day mentioning a few. You work on that. Then you end the day with what happened. That was great. What can you learn from what happened today, on a positive note? Any way you go about it, journaling first thing in the morning for me is very valuable. We're reading the artist's way now. She talks about journaling three pages every morning, first thing in the morning, I don't know if I need to three pages, the idea of brain dumping everything in the morning, whatever it is to get it out of your head, I know I wake up in the morning with tons of thoughts and ideas and maybe not necessarily any ideas, just mumbo jumbo that needs somewhere to go. If you can get that out of your head first, then you can focus on your day and make everything else great.

Robert Peterson  37:39  

Absolutely, and of course, you and I have a practice of prayer and reading, reading our Bibles every day. Then we've been trying to add reading other books and we do that on the road. We do that. Try try it there are books that we want to read together for developing our business and, developing each other and helping hold each other accountable in certain areas. That's probably been our weakest link in trying to do some of these things together. Especially when you were working and now that you're home and our daughter's working for us now. The house is a little full still with two grandkids. We wouldn't trade it for the world because the opportunity to have our grandkids here every day is precious. Unmatchable. The fact that our daughter can do work while raising our new baby is pretty exciting, too. Those are choices we're making, it does make some of the decision making and meditation and thinking times a little more challenging because the house was noisy when we had kids. The great news is they leave in the afternoon and we get some evening quiet. We have to adjust our schedule a little more intentionally.

Noelle Peterson  38:58  

That's an encouragement for everybody to make the time that works for you. The afternoons from five to seven are great times for us to work together. The time in the morning, seven to nine before the kids get here before the meeting starts, is sometimes priceless at getting some actual work done on this computer.

Robert Peterson  39:20  

Absolutely. You've had different mentors in your life, at least for sure in your spiritual life, and I assume in your work with the state. We're working on some mentors in this business space. What has having mentors meant to your growth and what would you encourage someone who doesn't have a mentor?

Noelle Peterson  39:49  

We all have them in some way whether we realize it or not. Looking back over life I've had several ladies that encouraged me and walked with me through things. I had a fabulous lady when we were living in Colombia who was also a pastor's wife and missionary wife, and we just leaned on each other. At the time, you don't think of it much as a mentor, but more, we were friends for sure. Then there were times where we've reached out to each other even to say, hey, I need to chat. Then there's business in the business world, there's been some positions where a boss or a co worker has been a mentor and guided me, it's pushing me through and making me better. Be a better me in that role. Sometimes in general, I also worked with the lady at the church, several ladies at the church who helped me put together and support a women's ministry for many years where we were able to support many women. The camaraderie and the accountability that we have with each other, to this day is unmatchable, in my experience, but very valuable to have somebody that will encourage you to move forward, guide you and encourage you to make the changes that you need. They can see outside the box, what you're doing with the instructions that are on the outside of the box that you're in and help you evaluate who you are, and what you need, what needs done, what changes to make.

Robert Peterson  41:18  

The biggest challenge for most of us, especially on the accountability side, is to have a trusted mentor that we know isn't trying to hurt us. In the corporate world, there's always this idea that somebody wants to knock you down so they can climb up. There's a level of trust in a mentor that does want to bring you along and wants to pull you up to their rung on the ladder. There is the value of a relationship of knowing, Can I do the things this person is telling me to do? Can I trust that they have my best interests at heart? A lot of those conversations can be challenging, and it's easy to get defensive. When someone's calling you out on your stuff.

Noelle Peterson  42:09  

You have to have trust in the person, the relationship has to be there first.

Robert Peterson  42:14  

One of the things that always comes up, some of the motivation for writing my book was originally the things we didn't teach our kids about entrepreneurship. One of those things are the things the school system doesn't teach about entrepreneurship, it was more, it was a combination of those two thoughts. How money works is a huge one. Communication is also another huge hurdle for many people. Being able to let go of expectations is a huge part of that effective communication. Then try to make sure that you have a communication system where you agree with each other, you'd understand each other. One of the things that's helped you and I is this, this commitment to the journey, is that there's not this power structure control in our relationship is where we're going, what's our destination? How can we get there together? How can we solve these problems to help us get there? You would share your view on communication and developing better communication skills. I know you want to help women in relationships, and you want to help women be able to communicate better.

Noelle Peterson  43:42  

Communication is different for everybody. It's the love languages, you have to find a way that's going to communicate with the person you're talking to. I've done several classes through that, the state paid for and that I've done over the years. We're all different. We need to acknowledge that. There's some assessments that we are able to take that we can identify what kind of person we are, how we handle things, and how we can react better, and we can use those to grow. We can also see the results that somebody else took and understand what that person is and who that is. Being able to communicate in a way that reaches the audience. That's as the speaker, that's what everybody talks about is you got to be able to speak to the audience. It's out there and sometimes that audience is one you got. One on one, you have to be able to speak to make it make sense. It makes sense in your brain doesn't mean it makes sense when it comes out of your mouth.

Robert Peterson  44:43  

That's so good. I'm trying to decide if I want to ask what inspires you or what your most memorable date was, a little fearful about the most memorable date because you'll bring up some other guy or something

Noelle Peterson  44:59  

One thing about my perspective on life and being positive is I don't keep a tally. I don't remember things. Sometimes that's good. I feel that's good and bad. What comes to mind? First, I'm gonna say it is our Valentine's Day. I can't pick one because it tends to be a time where we travel. In 2000 we went when we moved to Columbia, and then some years later, we flew to Africa. Valentine's is not necessarily the day we celebrate. It often tends to be where we go to travel internationally. I'll take those.

Robert Peterson  45:45  

Nice. What inspires you?

Noelle Peterson  45:48  

Seeing women grow. Being able to work with ladies that work and seeing the light bulbs come on, or their life improving. I loved working at the church and leading the women's ministry and high school ministry. I was able to mentor several of the girls that we had in our youth ministry when we served there, and being able to help them manage through life and the difficulties that life and relationships cause aren't always easy. You need somebody else to walk through with you.

Robert Peterson  46:32  

That's our role in business, is choosing to come alongside folks that do that. They're doing okay, can we help them do better? Can we help them get to another, another level? Can we help them grow their business? Can we help them increase their impact? That's a really important piece of, what coaches can provide is, as a service to entrepreneurs, as a service to women, is, is that little bit of accountability. That little bit of, hey, you're not alone. I want you to get to that next level. I want to help you get there and I can't make them do any of these things. I can encourage them, if you do these two or three things, your life is going to change dramatically.

Noelle Peterson  47:21  

We don't use as much of our brain as we need to. We read, Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill, an interesting book, it's got some really good stuff in there. The idea that we need to think more, we need to think for ourselves more. Very, very much hit home. That is a big point that we need to share.

Robert Peterson  47:45  

Way too many people spend so much time ruminating. We ruminate over the past, we repeat the past stories over and over again. We're not thinking creatively, we're stuck in a rut of woe is me. This story, these bad things. The circumstances in my life, God hates me blah. I'm powerless. That story that they're telling themselves is what's disempowering them, not the conditions or circumstances, not the world around them. Power is a choice. It starts with taking responsibility, and choosing to own your life and own rights. Once you do that, once you've crossed the line of courage, and you say, I'm responsible for my life, things start to change and you take back the power you come into the world with a whole new energy that has a bigger impact in the world. Helping others make that happen is always a fun part of what we get to do. Man, we're getting down to it. How important is having fun?

Noelle Peterson  49:00  

Oh my gosh, we can't do anything without fun. I mean that. I said four years ago that I wanted to be a stay at home, grandma. At the time, I felt it was going to be and I needed to stay. I needed to be available for my grandson who is one then. Any other grandkids that might come around to me when I was a kid having my grandparents drive me to places, pick me up from school, go to my events. It was everything. I'm not sure how people go without that because it, that's what the way of life was. My grandparents were in my life all the time. I wanted to be a part of my grandkids life. I didn't realize that two years later, the COVID would hit and I would be a stay at home grandma with a job. I was here, I was around, I still saw Andaqi a lot but I was tied to my computer nine to five. One of the advantages and blessings I have this last two months is to be able to play with him as long as I'll have a meeting or something that's going on, I can turn this off, turn around and play with Domino's, or watch a movie or something real quick, and then he'll let me come back. You and I also spend a lot of time taking trips and adventures. I struggled to go a month, let alone without leaving the state. The travel agent stewardess comes right back and I need to go somewhere, it is a lot better, having the whole house to ourselves, we don't feel we have to go as much. I sure love getting out of town, even if it's to drive in the mountains.

Robert Peterson  50:35  

You've had success with your book, your stories being included in a dose of hope and a couple of other compilation books and exciting opportunities to get your stories out there. With all these successes happening, what's been the biggest challenge?

Noelle Peterson  50:53  

For me, I need to sit and write, I need to take the time away, everything else is going to go and happen. I need to make the time like I was saying you need to take the time to journal and do yours, your routines. I need to make the time to make what I want to happen, what needs to happen is it's the compilation I submitted this week, and I didn't get it done until the last absolute minute. I said it has to get done now. Let's get it done. I get a lot more done if I write more often.

Robert Peterson  51:25  

I'm gonna throw myself under the bus here, maybe. How does running a business together impact our relationship?

Noelle Peterson  51:36  

Right now it's finding the time to turn work off. We're around each other 24/7. It's so easy to pick up a book, or a topic or I need this question as we're not talking about the let's fix this. Let's do this. I need to acknowledge that. There's time where? Nope, this isn't the time. I'm working on lists. I'll write it on the list. We'll get to it later. I have to make sure that you get back to it with me.

Robert Peterson  52:09  

Now I have to decide if you like lists or spreadsheets more.

Noelle Peterson  52:13  

Lists. 

Robert Peterson

I'm not convinced. 

Noelle Peterson

Spreadsheets are lists.

Robert Peterson  52:18  

You like multiple lists, lists that are tagged with stuff side by side and lists that you can add stuff to and oh my goodness. How is contribution being apart?

Noelle Peterson  52:31  

Contributions have been a huge part of our life. For those of you that don't know, we were missionaries for 10 years, and we lived on other people's contributions. Being able to give back as well is huge. I said my favorite one of my favorite parts of working at the church was volunteering in the high school ministry, and being able to encourage and share the love and knowledge that we have with other women and young adults.

Robert Peterson  53:00  

What's the big dream?

Noelle Peterson  53:09  

I should know this one. Ideally, we want to have a business that is self-sufficient enough that we can take planned or spontaneous trips and take the kids to Disneyland or something. Also jump in on the bikes and go up in the mountains for a ride. To help entrepreneurs help women be their best. They can impact the world as well. If we can take our 4060 hours a week each, and dive in and love those that allow us to support them. That we can all be better, be bigger, and be who we were meant to be.

Robert Peterson  54:08  

What do you love to do in your free time?

Noelle Peterson  54:15  

I'd say read but I don't necessarily enjoy reading. I have a hard time getting my brain to focus if I'm not intentionally doing something with it. Travel with you and then probably crochet which I don't get to do as much. I've gotten to do some fun projects over the years though.

Robert Peterson  54:42  

Go ahead and share about the projects that you've made for our daughter that she's using now.

Noelle Peterson  54:48  

The answer is actually, when I went into labor with our daughter back in 1996, I was crocheting a little baby dress while in labor waiting for everything to happen, and then over the next few years, I crocheted  a few more dresses, one of which was size six, she wore when she was six years old. It also had a baby blanket. It had a baby doll dress that matched, it was a six year old pink, full size dress, and then a baby doll version. Her daughter now wears the baby doll version, that's how big she is.

Robert Peterson  55:27  

She was not premature, but she's a very small baby,

Noelle Peterson  55:31  

it might take her more than six years to fit in the other one.

Robert Peterson  55:35  

Maybe all of them. Our poor granddaughter. She is cute as a button and has a sweet disposition. We enjoy having her around the house. She's still squeaking and squawking and giggling but rather makes up for it. Hopefully soon, she'll be talking and probably running around driving us crazy. That's what the kiddos are for. Noelle spent an hour chatting with these brilliant entrepreneurs in our audience and you want to leave them with Noelle's words of wisdom. What would you share?

Noelle Peterson  56:20  

Make the most of it. Whatever you're doing, give it your all and be purposeful if you're not dreaming. It's not that I've heard it if you're not scared, you're not dreaming big enough. Be persistent and intentional on what you're asking for and what you're dreaming for.

Robert Peterson  56:45  

Noelle, thank you so much for taking the time and sharing with us and being willing to put yourself out there. I appreciate you. Obviously love you dearly and appreciate the opportunity to keep working with you. 

Noelle Peterson

Love you too.